HOT OFF THE PRESS PEOPLE!!

YEEEEEE HAWWWWW! No forget that one..to red neck WOOOOO HOOOO! Much better! I got my first sample copy of my book!! annnnndddd IT LOOKS HOT! OMG! I sound like freakin Paris Hilton now! Just shoot me! Shoot me now! But I can't help it! I am sooooo excited about my book! I actually have a book out! Well, almost. In about 10 days I will have all 1,000 in my grubby little hands! Want a copy?? Go to anumcara.com. Sorry, I don't know all the fancy coding to make a link work here. You'll have to work for this one. Oh yea, no one reads this anyway and I have it on my favorites so who cares if it doesn't work, I don't.

I've had allergy problems to day which is very weird because it's been a really long time since I've had it this bad. So I'm on an antihistamine high right now and ready to fall asleep. But not before I have a celebratory bowl of Cornflakes to celebrate the arrival of my first book! Man! Do I know how to celebrate or what!??

Until the installment of "As the Wand Wonders"

B.B.
WW

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE!

SO! I finally got the airplane reservations for the UK in May. Well, actually we leave April 27th. Then off across the pond we go! We have lots going on. We land in Belfast for a few days then we fly off to England for a week or so. Back to N. Ireland for a week to see the family, & go to the dentist where it's still affordable! Also so my son can "Win Granny Jordan's money!" Honestly! My mother in law gives my son like $300 cash when he comes over. Really should consider coming over more at that rate. So now he's the cute Yank with all the $$. He was the big spender last time we were there. Buying all these kids snacks n stuff at the VG. Now he'll be 15 (b-day May 12) so God only knows what he'll attract this time. He's tall, dark (by their standards) and handsome & he'll have some coinage about him. A definite chick magnet!

Then I head off back to England for a weekend for my sis in laws "hen" night. We call it a bachelorette party here. They do all kinds of things there that I don't think we do here but we will see. I'm flying over with my 2 cousins from Belfast, my other sis in law, niece, & her friend from Derry (yes we're fenians, hence the no London in front of Derry. Chuckie ar la! too lazy to check the Gaelic spelling) Come back hung over I'm sure, recuperate a few days then back to the good ole U Sof A! Phew! A busy month!

We have a week long workshop going on from May 3-7. And when I say "we" I mean Martin and Karen Montano do. I'm just there for...well..ahh...ummm.. I'm not exactly sure why I'm there. Oh yea, because I wanted to be there! But I will be doing an evening of comedy for the troops. Ummm not "our" US troops but our workshop troops. So I'm earning my keep....shut up! Yes I am! (like how I argue with myself??)

Then I have my show in Milton Keynes which will be known from now on as MK. But I will start a new post on that subject.

So stay tuned for the next installment of "As the besom flies!"

Blessed Be!
WW

A PRINTING WE WILL GO!

Yes!! That's right! My book is off to print!! How excited am I?? A. VERY FREAKIN EXCITED!!

I was like a kid on a long trip... Is ready to go yet? Is ready to go yet? Is it ready...u get the idea. I had to flash Martin my boobies every time I asked as not to piss him off with my constant nagging. Before that it was Are my ISBN#'s here yet?? Are my ISBN#"s here yet?? ect. Good thing I have a big rack or I'd be in trouble. Guys are so easy!

Soooooo in about 10 days I will have my grubby little hands on my very own book!! Then I will really mean "On News Stands now!" OK, it may not be news stands right away, but it will be in select book stores & by select book stores I mean a book store in Ohio. Hey, close enough, ya gotta start somewhere dammit! Today Ohio...tomorrow the world!!

Stay tuned for another exciting episode of, hmmm what shall it be...I know! "As the quill turns"

BLessed Be!
WW

IT REALLY ISN'T EASY BEING GREEN!

Well, I did it! I was the the MC at a St. Paddy's Day nursing home extravaganza! It was sitting room only! Woo Hoo! They started wheeling the residents in before I got there & it seemed like they were never gonna stop. I conned my kids into going and my son's friend Wesley too. They stood in line to get painted up accordingly. I had my trusty acrylic paints & brush out ready to paint up a storm! We all looked like leprechauns on crack. It was like Darby O'Gill and the Little People gone wild!

There were some residents asleep before the show even started! A good sign indeed. *sigh* Knew I shoulda hit a happy hour before I got there! It was St. Paddy's Day! There was bound to be one somewhere! Finally the last resident was rolled in and we began. We sang, they stared, a good time was had by all. So we chose to believe anyway.

We then walked around and handed green carnations to the residents that were bed bound or just plain napping. Don't know why they couldn't nap in the cafeteria where we were. They would've fit right in. It was great to see the smiles on their faces. They loved the flower. Most did anyway. They appear to be pretty medicated in these places. And I don't think it's viagra. Most couldn't hardly take their flower. It was like they were choosing between 3 of them or something. One lady told my daughter to get out. Elatia asked if she wanted a flower, she said no, get out, but then added "Thanks for stopping by." Go figure. Probably the meds talking.

Martin did see plenty of Earth bound spirits hanging around. Really? Would you really want to hang around a nursing home when you're dead? It's not so great there alive! I mean you could go anywhere and hang why a freaking nursing home??Ewwwwwww! It certainly can't be for the lovely "aroma."

One dead lady didn't know she was dead and was pissed off that someone was in her room! Again really?? Wouldn't ya notice that you don't have to open doors to get anywhere, the fact that you're up and around would be a clue, & not slumped over drooling on yourself in a wheel chair! For Christ's sake go to the freakin light lady! It's gotta be better than this!

It certainly reinforces my belief in me taking my vitamins I tell ya!

OH! And they blew us off for the down town celebration! The nerve! Don't they know who I'm going to be???? They said all the slots were full. Well, their loss really! I was glad to get home and put my rubber shoes up on the couch.

Stay tuned for another episode of ....."As the cauldron bubbles."

Blessed Be!
WW

GRAND MASTER C!!

As you know I've been getting ready for my big gig on St. Paddy's Day in the nursing home. Well, I got a call this a.m. that I will also be "The Mistress Of Ceremony." They asked and I said sure! No problem. Then I panicked thinking "What have I done???? Again!!" I e-mailed my comic friend Rocky Laporte who's got a small part in the new movie The Shaggy Dog. I personally liked the old title The Shaggy D.A. Anyway he gave me some tips on being an MC. Mostly he said to have fun. I know how to do that!

We had a rehearsal tonite. Our one and only. When you're this good.....! (as if) I was the only woman there.......no wait, not really, there was a bunch of Queens there. I was the only one without a penis tho. LOL We're all there not because of our singing talents, that's for sure, well except for Martin. We're there to have a good time and share a bit of cheer with the elderly. I'm really looking forward to it. I worked in a nursing home at 18 and I loved interacting with the residents. We are going to be a little risque here and there, the dirty ole men will love it! They were forever pinching my ass when I worked in one. I don't think things have changed, especially with viagra now. That's probably the drug of choice that gets smuggled in. Oh c'mon grow up! Like that doesn't go on and they don't get drugs in jail or the military either!

Then off to the main stage down town apparently after our nursing home extravaganza! Ahhhhh I get to make a fool of myself for the whole town to see. I must've been the village idiot or court jester or both in a past life cause this feels way to natural!!

Stay Tuned for another installment of "as the cauldron burns"

Blessed Be!
W.W.

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH!

Yea Baby! Rocky Mountain High.. Colorado! (singing in my best John Denver voice) The Rocky Mountains are in ALL of Colorado right? Cause I may be going to Denver which has the Rocky's...correct? Note to self, get a tutor for me and the boy on geography. I mean I thought the Mohave Desert was in Asia! I realized it wasn't when we drove thru it going to Vegas. :^0

Anyhoo I'm working on going to Denver in July for the INATS which is International New Age Trade Show...My PEEPS! That's where I need to be seen! There will be 1,000's of people there who "get me!" And they have author's booths, an author's breakfast, and book signing area. I actually qualify as an author now! Hold on while I wipe a tear... AN AUTHOR! WOW! I think it's just beginning to hit me that I can really call myself that. I'm feeling kinda all grown up or something. Having 2 kids, 3 if you count the hubby, 4 if you count the wiener dog, a mortgage n stuff hasn't really made me feel grown up? I guess because I don't feel like I've ever had a job that felt like a grown up job. Ok, So I get up in front of people now and act like a goof ball & get paid. But you know, one that could impact others in a big way. This is waaay cool!

Now, I've added these guys to the list on who I'm waiting to get back to me. Still haven't heard from ABC's Wife Swap, Waiting on channel 4 in London, Transitions book store in Chicago (did I mention them before?) and now the INATS people who we left a message with today. I know there's more but can't think of who. Here's the skinny on Transitions Book Store. It was kinda my kick start in metaphysics big time. I was already small time. It introduced me to people who would change my life forever.

It would kinda be a full circle moment for me if I do a book signing and comedy show there since that's where I first met Doreen & Bill Christy back in Nov. 2001. It was my first metaphysical seminar ever. I know Bill wouldn't remember me but I remember him when Doreen introduced him. I remember seeing Steven there and I also first met Angel Earth. WOW! To think how much has happened since then & how much all those people have blessed my life since then. I met Michael Wise, lead singer of Angel Earth there and said good bye to him there. Yup! A full circle moment indeed!

That's it for now. Stay tuned for the next installment of...."As the Athame turns"

ON NEWS STAND NOW!

Alright! By now you know that's a load of crap. But I'm trying to be creative here! Work with me! The exciting news is.....drum roll please!.....I GOT MY FIRST WHOLE SALE BOOK ORDER!!! Pretty exciting stuff eh?? And it's from a new age store in Ohio! Not even local. Plus she wants me up to do a book signing and my comedy show. I think I just may be on a book tour because they want me back in Antioch IL as well! I know! I've hit the big time! Ahhhhh delusions of grandeur, ya gotta love it!

Although I have to say I saw more flannel & mullets (I thought they were gone) in Antioch than at a lesbian bar. Quite disturbing actually. Certainly not the fashion capital of the world by any stretch of the imagination. Fashion has totally eluded this part of the world! They aren't big on laughing out loud either but they apparently had a great time the last time we were there. Talk about a fish out of water!! I felt out of place in them thar hills.

Soooo I guess I'll be having me a summer tour! Maybe I should look into a tour bus *tee hee* Hey if you want big, you gotta think big and remember, I am a legend in my own mind! So a tour bus makes perfect sense. And maybe I can get my ex hubby (I know!! Who would divorce me???) to drive it! That's what he does, he drives buses. He even has his own charter bus company but I want one of them decked out buses! Maybe I should call him now.

OH! And guess who called me?? That's right my friend that I was trying to get a hold of, well actually his wife did as she is our friend as well. Apparently he's too buy for his friends. I will remember that believe me! Michelle is welcomed back stage but Vito..... well...Vito who?? See? Ya moon someone is how you get results I guess. Well, for me anyway. And to top it off he wasn't that big of a help....yet.

Until the next installment of "As the broom turns"....

Blessed Be! )0(
W.W.

ALL BOTTLED UP!

Arrrrg! What is the deal with suppliers?? No, not drug ones, bottle ones! What kind a girl do you think I am?? Ok, so sometimes it may appear I partake in illegal substances but I DON'T and the scary thing is I never did!! This is all me baby! So I can't blame it on anything. Hmmmm maybe I should be on some sort of drug then maybe I wouldn't be talking to myself orrrrrrr someone else could read this and then I certainly wouldn't be talking to myself!

Oh, yea, back to my point and not the one on my head. I finally have my perfume and I can't find bottles. Oh, I found one but can't find it now, found another one but can't get anymore of it. ARRRRRGG! Where are my emoticons when I need them! I'm getting orders for my amazing perfume and can't fill them! Frustrating? Ya think? How am I going to build a perfume empire if I can't get the freakin bottles!! Notice I slip the legend in my own mind thing any where I can? I'm good.

I have a friend who works for his dad's perfume business in Miami, not getting a plug here for it since he won't return my calls! I know, I know, I'd only be plugging it to myself & I already know about it. Hence the phone call trying to get bottles. I mean he must import right? He's in Miami close to the port. Hmmmm what all do you think he imports......I kid! Ya know I think I'll go now and leave another desperate message in his machine. I may have to go mean on his ass if he doesn't get back to me soon. He said he adores me and Martin, wonder how he'd treat someone he didn't like! Again.... I'm so ronery oh so ronery....

At least I do have 6 more bottles coming in that are totally different than I had but they are bottles that will hold perfume. 4 of them are already going out. I need bottles!!!!!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

P.S. I just called him & I whined, threatened to call and whine everyday until he calls then......I mooned him! That's right I mooned him! C'mon he had it coming! Drastic times calls for drastic measures! Now I wait....till the morrow...then do it again!

IT ISN'T EASY BEING GREEN!

Well, I think I'm about done with my St. Paddy's day attire. I think I may have out done myself this time. I'm putting a lot of effort into this, buying new stuff for a free gig that most may sleep thru. WOW! Am I desperate for a gig or what? I live for the thrill of the lights, the cameras & the roar or will it be the snore of a live(? debatable) crowd! Ahhhh the theatre, I love it so! Delusions of grandeur I know, but humor me as I humor myself. Remember, legend in my own mind, so play along!

Hard to believe but the St. Paddy's Day stuff is already on sale and getting harder to find. It's over 2 weeks till the day of the green! I can't find my flashing shamrocks head band :^( but I did find a green sequencie (I tend to make up words) hat, a bunch of green bobble necklaces, a bubble blower necklace, bright green striped socks with shamrocks, some bright green pants from Goodwill. I love that place! The first pants I try on in front of everybody, as I didn't feel like waiting for a dressing room, fit! Goodwill must've been giving stuff away because they were busy. They weren't giving my stuff away, I had to pay. I wore a skirt so I could just slip on pants anywhere and wore my bright green striped socks under my knee high boots so I could see how they would look with said pants. And man, did they look HOT! I am going to make one hot looking leprechaun on crack!

And yes! I did find my green rubber turned up shoes my "piece de resistance!" YAY! I feel complete....almost. I'm still thinking about going back and getting these big ass shamrock sunglasses. I think that would complete the ensemb (Another made up word). I think I will go first thing tomorrow before they are gone. I know I will definitely be 40 shades of green if nothing else.

Incase your wondering I am NOT going topless. I know I didn't mention any top I would be wearing but I will be donning my beautiful green Goddess top made by my designer (I put that to sound important). I always wear one of my Goddess tops when I perform. Why should this be any different?

I better look good because I may be on the local TV news. Apparently who ever runs the down town affairs asked Raymond (A very tall leprechaun) if his "performers" (I use the term lightly) would come to the down town celebration and perform & that news crews will be there. I better look at dropping some poundage as I don't need the camera's help with added weight. They can put a man on the moon (or can they?) but the camera still adds 10 LBS??! C'mon if the camera's helped out more, actresses could keep their fingers out of their throats & enjoy a freakin meal once in awhile! Anyway, I do quite well on my own with the weight & don't need the camera adding any. I mean, if I'm going to look bigger, there better be a twinkie, in my mouth at all times!!

You know..... I would never get away with this outfit in Ireland. They don't do this crazy shit over there, only we do. Hell, they don't even wear green! Spot the real Irish person in a pub here, they are the ones in black usually, no green. Spot the obnoxious Irish wanna-bees, they're ALL decked out in green. The Irish are usually shaking their heads in disgust looking at me. I know I would be snipper shot in N. Ireland which is why I stay here for this holiday. :^)

Until next time...Tiocfaidh ar la ...phonetically speaking for those who don't speak Gaelic...Chuckie Ar La...Our Day Will Come!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

YADA YADA YADA

"I'm so ronery oh so ronery".......rememeber the North Vietnam dude in Team America F**K Yea!! That was his song and now mine. As I am soooo ronery on my blog. Yea, I know I said I didn't care but I'm not made of stone ya know!

I am getting ready to go St. Paddy's Day garb hunting. That gig is sneaking up on me & I want to be ready. It wouldn't be such a big deal except all my cool St. Paddy's Day stuff is packed. Silly me thought we would've sold our house by now and had been un-packed & settled in S. Ca. where I would be enjoying good hair days by now! Although we've been having pretty good hair days here in the Sunshine, I duno how to vote, God's waiting room, State a.k.a Florida.

I hope I can find all the stuff I'm looking for. The main ingredient is my green rubber turned up elf shoes. I have 2 PAIR packed! The sad part is I can walk normal in them now. That's how much I've warn them. They feel more normal than wearing heels. I am a sad little human ain't I? And I wonder why "I'm so ronery oh so ronery" LOL I'm thinking mystery solved!

Well I better get out and get green. I don't want to disappoint those that are expecting me to look like a leprechaun on crack! When the old people get a load of me, they're gonna wonder if a nurse screwed with their meditation. Or snuck some acid in their prune juice. Ahhhhh the 60's.

Blessed Be!
W.W.