I LEFT MY ICK IN THE DON CE-SAR!

I LEFT MY ICK AT THE DON CE-SAR!
Current mood: exanimate
Category: Blogging

That title should be sung to the tune of "I left My Heart in SF." Also I put my mood as exanimate to sound smart. Even tho I haven't the foggiest clue what it means....& neither does Mensa smart Psychic Boy, so there!

Anyhoo...friends took us to St. Pete Beach last Sunday to drum up some shows at some metaphysical stores, which was very successful I might add. But that's for another entry. This is what you have to do when you have no manager, or agent or personnal asst. or publicist or whatever the hell else these successful comedians have. *stop, breathe, release* Ok I'm fine now..rage subdued..for the moment. When you're on the Z list you gotta do everything your self! Screw you Kathy Griffin and your D-List!! baa waa baa waa poor you having to live in that friggin huge house and drive a mercedes, stay at 5 star hotels and meet big stars! Boo frickidy hoo! *ok rage back again...stop, breathe, release take pins outta Kathy doll* PHEW! That was close. May need the little white pills next time.

Where was I???....oh yea, St. Pete. So on the way back from seeing the metaphysical stores we stopped off at the haunted Don Ce-Sar hotel. A huge pink hotel built in the 1920's. We'd thought it'd be fun to see what Psychic Boy would pick up. We were not let down! He met the owner Thomas Rowe himself who's been dead a long time. We were in a gift store and Martin says aloud, "I'm walking thru a fire! It's hot!" I'm like "Yea, yea, look at these cool shoes over here." I was able to validate some of the stuff he was getting by reading a book they had for sale about the hotel. But not the fire. Did get the shoes.

We sat in the gorgeous lobby while waiting for one of our famous summer monsoons to pass (It beats a friggin hurricane anyday). I sat there in awe of the beautiful hotel as this was the caliber of hotel I was use to staying in. I breathed in it's beauty, it's LIVE flowers, it's REAL lobby, the very air by the concierge desk (They look like they were going to call security) screaming on the inside "I'M HOME!!!" & as I did this I realized I had just dumped my Motel 6 ick there that was still on me!!

I felt FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!! THANK GOD I'M FREE AT LAST OF THAT MOTEL 6 ICK!!! Thank you Don Ce-Sar hotel!!

Blessed Be! )0(
WW

SIGN HERE update

Well I haven't written about my "book signing" because of writer's cramp. YEA! WHATEVER!! Like that's the reason! I was lying in fetal position, sucking my thumb in a puddle of my own snotters & tears screaming out "WHY LORD?? WHY NOT ME???"...... Too much???

How many showed up for my book signing I hear you ask? Well....drum roll pleeeeease.....ABOSOLUTLEY NO ONE!! NADA! NO BODY!! How sad am I? I can't get even get one person to come in for a book signing! BAAAWAAAA!

Don't these people know who I'm gonna be dammit!!?? You gotta love that home town lovin feelin huh?? The only people that showed up were the ones that were already there when we arrived. None of which were there for the book signing!! Not one more person came in. Martin did 5 readings and sold a few of HIS cd's. But me?? NADA, NOTHING ZIPPO!!

So my hand lives yet another day, to one day do countless book signings.

Blessed Be! )0(
WW

BATES MOTEL HELL

I just got back from Cleveland Ohio on Monday. While it was a great trip and did a great show with great people, I was reminded of how far down the comedy food chain I really am.

Got tired of the damp, clamy, smelly Bates Motel Hell. I believe others may know it as the illustrious Motel 6. Yup! That's what happens when ur still trying to make a name for ur self in comedy, you'll go and stay at any dive you can barely afford to do your gig &....nothing but the lowest hotels will do. I was shocked that not only was there no concierge nor room service or pool or lobby, don't even get me started on the so called "lobby." It stunk so bad! It smelled like a bar on the docks where the hookers hung out....not that I know first hand about those kinds of bars... but I heard things. But no shampoo or conditioner or even a DO NOT DISTURB SIGN to hang on the paint peeling door!! That's just crossing the line of decency I tell ya!!. HELLLLOOOOO! Alone with the hubby!! NEED THE SIGN!! You had to write it on a piece of paper (which they did not supply) and your own pen because of course they did not supply that either!!! Then stick it in the door. SHOCKING! I know! There was nothing worth stealing there either! But we did have a great view of the Holiday Inn Select. Lucky for us huh?? We got a reminder everytime we looked out the window how far down the food chain we really are.

Ahhhh there's nothing like sleeping in a damp clamy bed or putting on damp clamy clothes in the morning or having your beautiful straight hair go back to it's natural full, frizzy, creepy state. What a great & wonderful feeling to have everything you touch feel icky.

The only thing missing was a young creepy guy always talking about his mother.

Yup! It made me want to light some candles, burn some nag, watch re-runs of Charmed (it was like always on up there) indulge in the cornucopia of sweets from the gas station we'd walk to & cut myself while sobbing...well either that or have hot monkey jungle love with the hubby ......Can't wait to do it again!

Blessed Be! )0(
WW

SIGN HERE, HERE, & HERE

Well, that's what I hope to hear today at my book signing at Endora's Emporium. It's Sarasota, it's Pagans, it's a long shot. I mean with Pagans being VERY PC....poverty conscious, it is a long shot. I guess all great authors and comediennes started out this way. So unappreciated. So unrecognized. So woe is me...*big sigh*

Alright enough of the starving artist crap! Hey I got a book signing today!! Woo Hoo!! I get to get out of the house today & meet my adoring fans!! (too much?) Not much to write right now but will later on.

I have another post I NEED to get off my chest and that will come later as well. I hope my nails can hold up on the computer as I feverishly and angrily type my little heart or brick, as it is sometimes called, out!

So stay tuned kiddies for the next installment of, let me think......as the cauldron burns.

BB
WW