GIGALO WEEZE AND CORN BREAD!

GIGALO WEEZE AND CORN BREAD!
Current mood: embarrassed

The category should say flogging as in a public one.

Now on to my night of public humiliation.......It's been 3 weeks so I can talk about it now...kinda

PB and I did a comedy gig in Palmetto FL. or as some like to call it, unbenounced to me, Palmghetto. I answered a bulletin, because the area code was my own, and what's this?? An actual opportunity to perform somewhere in my area?? The bulletin stated if you wanted stage time to "hit me up" So being the stage whore that I am and not to miss a chance to get on one, a stage, I contacted this poster....even tho I was hesitant due to my material. It's not for every kind of crowd. I really learned that one!!

Well, I respond to it explaining what I do and Gigalo Weeze, the poster & organizer, was really interested, I mean really excited!! I couldn't believe it! I was still leary because, ya know, a comedy gig called Big Bro may not be the place for metaphysical humor. But Gigalo reassured me that the crowd will love it, they like ALL kinds of humor. Yea, whatever Gigalo!

I wanted PB with me because I figured if I was going down he was going with me!! I ain't going down alone. (Yes, I see the obvious jokes here but focus dammit!!) I also figured the parodies would warm them up......joke was on us. You can see how this night went already. So much for building up the suspense of it all. *sigh*

We get there ON TIME! Which I found out black people are not known for. I know about Cubans, they have their own time. Rahn Man, the MC says to me "You haven't worked with a lot of black people have you??" My response "Umm No" The other comedians start arriving and they are great. I'm sure they're wondering why our white bread asses are there but they are very nice to us none the less.

People start arriving and the other comics are nervous looking out at them saying they look like a tough crowd. OK! This is the black comics saying this!! IF THEY ARE NERVOUS??!!!! Where the hell does that leave us???? The Christians to the lions??? I think I had, at that moment, another past life flash back! I was seeing the Coliseum in Rome!! Altho my belief is that they didn't feed the llons enough!! :-) I told Gigalo that, "This is feeling like the the whole Coliseum thiing in Rome Gigalo." At the very least the Titanic! He assured me "Naaaaa"

So we're hanging back stage with all the other comics, Cornbread is the only other name I really remember. No, wait, that's a lie, I remember LC, cause he was a hottie. I think they said he had been on BET. We were having a great time with them laughin and carrying on. Listening to Urban slang is quite interesting. I find it extremely creative. I won't go into the whole stoy as to how I found out this little ditty but I found out what "dropping mud" meant. Let's see, how can I eloquently put this....it means to have a bowel movement. That alone there was worth the whole night!! OH AND meeting LC. Did I mention he was a hottie?

The line up is made and the 3 white comics go on first. Me and PB count as one. We were 3rd. Hmmm I said "What's this? Fill them up on whitle bread so they won't be so aggitated??" See? The Coliseum!! I knew it!! The only other girl, Genuine Design, YAY I remembered another name! Said, "If I don't get any laughs I'll do the sex postions, that ALWAYS gets them going." She goes out and not much is happening then I peek out and I see her going into the sex postions and I thought " OK, We're F**KED!!" AND we're next!! I was thinking, "How the hell do I get out of here!!" I have never wanted to NOT be a stage whore more than at that moment when they called our names.

Oh yea, it was as bad, if not worse than I thought!! A couple of hundred Urban people looking at us like we just ran over their box of puppies!! I had no sex postions, no drug or arrest stories, or nothing to fall back on either!! We were sooooo screwed! Nothing worked, not the songs, not my skeptic joke that ALWAYS gets a great laugh! Not even my myspace joke that I do to remember to give my URL which I DID NOT do BTW!! Just got the same "You ran over my box of puppies you bitch!" look. PB conveniently "forgot" the damn words to the last song he did (not the last song he was gonna do) so I knew it was time to call time of death and get the hell out of there.

The other comics back stage asked how it went. I said we had to call time of death & got outta there. Bless Gigalo's heart, he asked if we were coming back!! I said "Really??? NOOOOOO!"

Thank Goddess we had a kick ass, sold out show the week before!! It totally ROCKED!! It helped ease the pain of our public humiliation. Ya know, I don't believe what they say about comedy, "Funny is Funny" Or something like that. It means if you're funny you'll get laughs. That's not the case. All I can tell you is that the sex positions would've died a death with my crowd. And probably most of the comedians would've died a death with my crowd the week before....except LC, cause he's a hottie, did I mention that? What's funny to some is not funny to others.

So what's the lesson here kiddies?? Urban and metaphysics just do NOT mix!! So we decided that if we ever get hit really hard on the head some day and decide to do another Urban comedy show, our names will be Cheezy Weazel and Porn Bread.

I do want to thank Gigalo and Chris for having us, they wanted to try something new so we gave it a shot. I want to thank all the other comics who were very supporitve and fun to hang with!! It was great meeting everybody!! I couldn't have tanked with a greater bunch of comics!! :-)