WIFE SWAP!!....
Alright, get your mind outta the gutter! This isn't the keys in the bowl wife swap!....unless you want it to be....no..stop it....it isn't! I mean, it's not the 70's for chrissakes! Well, unless you're Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! In that case let the keys fly!! I'll do ya both!! Now see what you've done you've got me in the gutter! And by you I of course mean me since I'm the only one here. I'm always the only one here. *big sigh* sad moment. Unbelievable since I come up on the first page of yahoo and google. No, really I do! Type in metaphysical comedienne or metaphysical comedy or witchy woman comedienne. You'll see!
Ok, now onto why I originally started this. As I may or may not have mentioned before we were chosen for ABC's Wife Swap. Yes, we are the chosen ones even tho we are not Jewish.....or Jehova's Witnesses (they think they're chosen too...right? They really are delusional aren't they??) We were chosen back in Nov. and it is now...looking at watch...like that's gonna help....looking at calendar now....7 MONTHS later!! Still no word on a swap yet, only that we are still on the board. They are hoping to find a family for us to get us on the 3rd season. Are we that hard to match up??
When my cousin in Belfast heard we were going to be on she said to me "OH NO!! You don't want to be on that show!! We make fun of the people on that show!!" I replied "So do we!!" and we do. Every week I watch the show & I say "What have I done??"
I don't think we're weird enough for the show but my friends assure me that we indeed we are! Hmm what do you think they mean by that?? They're weird too and dysfunctional!! You mean to tell me that not everybody acknowledges the faires or have a leprechaun in their yard?? Or have dead people hanging around? Or have a husband that talks to Darwin when out to lunch.?? The last 3 words says a lot! Or when your son is asked how his night was and he says "Good. Mom told some jokes about dead people then Dad talked to them...ya know the usual!" That's not normal?????
I've seen the Wiccan family on there and I thought they were waaaay weird! None of the Witches I know behave like that. I know we are weird but we are not dysfunctional. We spend time with our kids and each other. We have balance. I'm not a city girl and I'm not a country girl either. I'm middle of the road. I like living in a town that isn't too big but not so small that everyone knows your biz.
When the producer Allison came out to the house she interviews us individually. I tried to listen in when she interviewed my daughter, don't trust the girl! They caught me. DAMMIT! Foiled again! When they came out I asked my daughter "you didn't tell her....." My daughter says "No" Then Allison says "The Farm?" I said "YOU BITCH!! You didn't!" My daughter so loving said that she would love to see me on a farm! She wants to see cow poo under my well manicured nails!! See I told you... "BITCH!!" Pure evil that child!! I'll miss her when she mysteriously goes missing. *evil grin* & *evil laugh* to go with evil grin.
Allison then asks me what would be my nightmare swap. Do I look retarded?? Don't answer that! SO I think and say, umm well, someone who is rich, has servants, shops all the time, has a driver, has well behaved kids, has a hot hubby ect. That would be HORRIBLE! I swear! She wasn't having it. I guess I didn't lie well. The well behaved kids gave it away didn't it?? DAMMIT! Sooooo close! (Ok just let me have my delusion!)
OH yea! Like I'm going to say what my REAL nightmare is. Like I would tell them that a gun toting, squirrel eating, rebel flag flying, Bible thumping, Bush loving republican would be my ultimate nightmare. No one is that stupid!! Well, some might be but I'm not!! I ain't killing my own dinner!! I don't do road kill either!! And a Bush supporter?? R U Kidding me?? I just couldn't handle that kind of stupidity!!
So here we are, on the board of Wife Swap, waiting for the word. Why am doing it?? Helllo I'm not stupid! It's a great advertising tool "The dynamic duo as seen on Wife Swap!" Don't you think people will want to come out to our comedy shows and see the retards who went on Wife Swap?? Don't you think they will want to see for themselves if I'm as big a spaz as I appeared to be on the show?? I'm betting they will.
I'll keep ya posted!
Stay Tuned to see when the Wife Swaps!
BB
WW
Ok, now onto why I originally started this. As I may or may not have mentioned before we were chosen for ABC's Wife Swap. Yes, we are the chosen ones even tho we are not Jewish.....or Jehova's Witnesses (they think they're chosen too...right? They really are delusional aren't they??) We were chosen back in Nov. and it is now...looking at watch...like that's gonna help....looking at calendar now....7 MONTHS later!! Still no word on a swap yet, only that we are still on the board. They are hoping to find a family for us to get us on the 3rd season. Are we that hard to match up??
When my cousin in Belfast heard we were going to be on she said to me "OH NO!! You don't want to be on that show!! We make fun of the people on that show!!" I replied "So do we!!" and we do. Every week I watch the show & I say "What have I done??"
I don't think we're weird enough for the show but my friends assure me that we indeed we are! Hmm what do you think they mean by that?? They're weird too and dysfunctional!! You mean to tell me that not everybody acknowledges the faires or have a leprechaun in their yard?? Or have dead people hanging around? Or have a husband that talks to Darwin when out to lunch.?? The last 3 words says a lot! Or when your son is asked how his night was and he says "Good. Mom told some jokes about dead people then Dad talked to them...ya know the usual!" That's not normal?????
I've seen the Wiccan family on there and I thought they were waaaay weird! None of the Witches I know behave like that. I know we are weird but we are not dysfunctional. We spend time with our kids and each other. We have balance. I'm not a city girl and I'm not a country girl either. I'm middle of the road. I like living in a town that isn't too big but not so small that everyone knows your biz.
When the producer Allison came out to the house she interviews us individually. I tried to listen in when she interviewed my daughter, don't trust the girl! They caught me. DAMMIT! Foiled again! When they came out I asked my daughter "you didn't tell her....." My daughter says "No" Then Allison says "The Farm?" I said "YOU BITCH!! You didn't!" My daughter so loving said that she would love to see me on a farm! She wants to see cow poo under my well manicured nails!! See I told you... "BITCH!!" Pure evil that child!! I'll miss her when she mysteriously goes missing. *evil grin* & *evil laugh* to go with evil grin.
Allison then asks me what would be my nightmare swap. Do I look retarded?? Don't answer that! SO I think and say, umm well, someone who is rich, has servants, shops all the time, has a driver, has well behaved kids, has a hot hubby ect. That would be HORRIBLE! I swear! She wasn't having it. I guess I didn't lie well. The well behaved kids gave it away didn't it?? DAMMIT! Sooooo close! (Ok just let me have my delusion!)
OH yea! Like I'm going to say what my REAL nightmare is. Like I would tell them that a gun toting, squirrel eating, rebel flag flying, Bible thumping, Bush loving republican would be my ultimate nightmare. No one is that stupid!! Well, some might be but I'm not!! I ain't killing my own dinner!! I don't do road kill either!! And a Bush supporter?? R U Kidding me?? I just couldn't handle that kind of stupidity!!
So here we are, on the board of Wife Swap, waiting for the word. Why am doing it?? Helllo I'm not stupid! It's a great advertising tool "The dynamic duo as seen on Wife Swap!" Don't you think people will want to come out to our comedy shows and see the retards who went on Wife Swap?? Don't you think they will want to see for themselves if I'm as big a spaz as I appeared to be on the show?? I'm betting they will.
I'll keep ya posted!
Stay Tuned to see when the Wife Swaps!
BB
WW
posted by Witchy Woman at 8:40 PM
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