So these 2 dead guys...

WOW!

2010-01-12T21:28:00.000-08:00

Amazing how much my life has changed since I was last on this blog back in May 2007. Only 2 months after my last post my life would take a traumatic turn for the worse. My life would be forever changed. I would be forever changed. Little did I know I would spend the rest of my life dealing with HUGE grief. Grief over losing my beloved teenage son Andrew, my hero, my teacher, my best friend.

The only reason I am even writing here, is that for some reason when I went to get on my other blog on here, "Mastering Astral Travel in 90 Days," the Opera web browser took me here. So here I am writing a post. Not that anyone reads this anyway but what the hell. If anyone stumbles upon this by accident, I blog now on http://www.healive.org that is where our entire journey with Andrew is. From his leukemia diagnosis, his 4 month treatment, his passing, and our continued journey with him.

Who knows, maybe I'll keep coming here every now and then to just babble on about something. A place to vent. We'll shall see. Then again I don't remember my login or anything for this, so this could be the last post. Like it matters. IT'S ALL GOOD!

Funny is NOT Funny!

2007-05-09T21:28:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Funny is NOT Funny!
Current mood: irritated
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers

I can't tell u how I HATE that saying!! I asked a booker one time about booking my act because it is so different & not mainstream on the east coast, and he said "Funny's funny. If you're funny you'll get booked."

What a load of CRAP!! How can anyone say that?? If that were true, then comics wouldn't ever bomb after they've had a proven good set! I'm talking about good comics. I had an A-list comedian friend tell me that one night he'll get a standing O and the next night, same club he'll bomb!! If funny is funny how is that possible??

It's not like comics change their set every night. They do the same set for awhile, ok, some for years, and every one of them have bomb stories with that same set they worked with for awhile.

I know I have a certain genre. Some people it's the college, or redneck, or urban. I'm metaphysical. I absolutely killed one week with a sold out crowd of 60. And died a slow painful death the following week with a crowd of 200. I knew it wasn't my crowd but I was assured they'd be open to it. Ummm hell to the NO! They were not. But the other comics that were good, probably would've died a death with my crowd.

I personally do not care for Dane Cook's act. I like him in interviews but when I saw his act, was not impressed & didn't think he was funny. But 12,000 college age kids did.

So to some it up FUNNY IS NOT FUNNY!! What's funny to some IS NOT funny to others.

I'm done with my rant now. nuff said.

COCKTAILS AT TIFFANY'S

2007-05-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

COCKTAILS AT TIFFANY'S
Current mood: ecstatic

Ok people, I'm just a blogging fool! *In my best Jim Carey impersonation* Somebody stop me! But I warned ya in my "That's how we roll" post.

Me and my daughter Elatia, & soul sister K-Ann are Hollywood Ho's. We dragged the boys with us. We took the tour of the Kodak Theater. That was incredible. I was imagining what it would feel like to be on that stage. Me and K-Ann imagined ourselves ordering our free drinks at the bar. Sat in the VIP lounge where Johnny Depp (BTW went to middle school w/ Johnny. He was in 6th and I was in 8th. Didn't know him but my client did) & Jack Nicholson sat. It was very surreal. It's how u start the manifesting process, be where u want to be and FEEL it. Our tour guide was a cutie patootie too. BONUS!

While we had our day in Hollywood, it was up to my daughter what we did. It was her day since she had to leave the next day. We could've seen the Craig Ferguson Show but she's already seen a show being taped. We saw Ellen back in Nov. 2003. She wanted to go to Rodeo Dr. (4 any of u rednecks out there..it's pronounced Ro-Day-Oh Dr. NOT!! Ro-dee-oh Dr.) and maybe see some star's homes. At the very least see where David Spade got tazered by his assist. ROFLMAO at that one. Or where George Michael got caught doing his thang w/ his thang.

We instead go to Rodeo Dr. but it's around 5p.m. so not alot of activity. No famous peeps or poparotzy (?) There's a few women with Bentleys, drivers and yes, their freakin poodles in their bag!! PULEEEASE! We walk up a kinda side street where it looks like Europe or to me, more specific, Italy. It's a beautiful cool day as we walk up the street. No, we didn't even try and fake our way into one of the hoidy toidy stores. Not on my $2,700 a yr. salary! (Read previous blog on "how we roll") Obviously I live on the psychic money.

As we walked up the street, I noticed the Jose Eber hair salon. I remember him! He use to do the make over shows on Oprah. Hmmm wonder if he still works in there. We go further up and see a few cafes. We decide it's time for a snack. AND we find out it's happy hour!! Wooo Hooo! Happy Hour on Rodeo Dr. What luck!! We decide to eat at the cafe right outside Tiffany's. Feeling really rich now. So we sit and I order a white chocolate martini and Elatia orders a Sex And The City. With the Happy Hour mine is only $11!! Instead of the normal $16!! And here I complained about paying $8 for my tiramasu martini back home!!

We ordered 4 appetizers that were absolutely dee-lish!! They were really good. As we are enjoying our food we see Jose Eber going for the elevator with a few people. He looks over at me then takes a double look, I'm guessing at my hair! That's the way I saw it anyways and K-Ann concurs!! So my hair caught Jose Eber's eye!! MAN! I'm having a great day!

Our bill? Geez only $100 & sumthin. But we had no regrets! We had cocktails and appetizers on Rodeo Dr. outside Tiffany's on a beautiful, sunny, cool day in Beverly Hills. AND I got noticed by Jose Eber!! Life is good with cocktails at Tiffany's!!

A BIRD, A TRUCK, AND HWY 101

2007-05-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

Tuesday May 8, 2007
A BIRD, A TRUCK, AND HWY 101
Category: Life

What do they have in common?? ME!!

This is about our near death experience in Hollywood near hwy 101. And by near death, I mean it's my family's account of the events that occurred. My take is that it was nothng more than a minor traffic altercation. My family are a bunch of drama queens. My dear soul sister K-ann, a fellow Hollywood Ho, dropped us off at the Hollywood sign to pick up our car to finally make our way back to Laguna Beach.

Some how we got lost, it's easy there believe me! It's craziness I tell ya! So as I'm trying to read the sign of the upcoming light, I slow down slightly, not so much, because the car infront of me is not too far ahead of me. So as I am concentrating soooo hard on which way to go, this f&*#@*#n truck lays on his horn and scares the piss outta me and it really pissed me off! So much so I ever so politely show him my birdie..ok, I flipped his ass off as he zooms by!! BUTTTT he then slams on his brakes so much so there's smoke! And he's stopped where I'll be even with him. So I'm guessing he did NOT appreciate my hand gesture. The Light Worker left me and the Joisey gurl took over.

Well, the family panics as the light is now RED!! Jeezus! WTF? I'm not in Sarasota anymore *There's no place like home, heels click click click* Damn it ain't working! It's been awhile since I've live in Ft. Laud. so I have forgotten about road rage, people just fall asleep while driving in Sarasota. Why don't their lights last longer here dammit! I had to think quick. I saw that there was no one coming up beside me that split second and I just immediately turn right hoping there was no on coming traffic. Note to self, keep eyes open next time to find out.

My daughter informs me that normally she would have my back but this time she was gonna run like like a little girl if he pulled a gun. ANNNND the hubby and son would follow, I've seen them run & they too would run like little girls!! *I tickled myself with that one* A bunch of babies I tell ya! I pulled a cool Starsky and Hutch maneuver if you ask me.

I pulled into a side street to get our bearings & figure out how the hell to find that freakin elusive Hwy 101. Thank Goddess K-ann calls to see where we are, knowing we are probably lost, she's psychic too, and she leads us in the right direction. *Phew* Crisis averted. We all made it to Laguna Beach alive and well with no bullet holes. A good day indeed!

THAT'S JUST HOW WE ROLL CON'T

2007-05-09T21:25:00.000-07:00

THAT'S JUST HOW WE ROLL con't
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

Was going to start another blog but knew I better finish this one first. I actually made a list of titles for upcoming blogs, so be forewarned.

Ok, so we're at this amazing 4 star hotel. It felt like coming home because we are use to staying in 4 & 5 star hotels and getting the VIP treatment. It's just been awhile. Following the comedy dream doesn't warrant any of that stuff. You stay in an icky Motel 5 1/2..not even a 6!! You have to find your own paper and pen to write your own "do not disturb" sign. I could go on and on but I did that already in a blog back in July 2006.

On to the cool stuff. So we had our wine and snacks delivered to our adjoining rooms. We had a REAL balcony with a table and 4 chairs that over looked the gorgeous pool. Oh yea! I breathed deeply in the air of a REAL hotel room! Let it seep into my cells! Candy on the pillow. Now that's what I'm talking about!

BUT! Look at the time! I had to get ready for what?? A comedy show! How the hell did I score these accommodations on a comic's salary?? My salary is about $2,700 a year!! And that's on a good year! That's right! Not a night, or a week, or a even a month!!...yet. But a year!!

It's called manifestation baby! The Secret, The Law Of Attraction! It's also called my friend having a helluva lot of Marriott rewards!! Like 200,000 worth so 60,000 for 2 rooms was no probs.

So we go to our show and had a great time. Everyone had a great time. Some teaching and healing occurred as well as laughter. That's what I love about our show. You get it ALL! The owner wants us back again only he wants to get a bigger space that holds 75. He said we are a hot commodity! Very cool! I like that. Now if I could only get a few more people to buy into that! We couldn't wait to leave tho and get back and take advantage of our hotel accommodations. So I kept a close eye on the time.

We get back to the hotel and the kids were at the glorious pool. My son 15 and Tammy's 16yr.old daughter and 11 yr.old son. We grab our suits and wine and go down to the pool to cool off in the 90 something temps. It's Palm Desert after all. Don't mind swimming at 10p.m. when it's dark & empty. My legs are like a neon light in the dark anyways. We swam, and by swam I mean walked around in the pool, sat in the hot tub, well, didn't do that one for long then back in the pool. We snuck down wine glasses in a shirt, which I told the kids to be careful and not to sit on it. I found plastic cups by the pool, got 2 then sat down.....right on the shirt with the wine glass! DOH! Thought I was gonna have glass on my ass but the shirt saved me! YAY!

Then it was time to go back to the room for room service. Worked up quite the appetite performing, swimming, and breaking glass. The food was great. I love getting room service, it makes me feel rich.

Breakfast the next morning was great. It's always great when it's free and pool side in the shade. After breakie the kids and Tammy went in the pool again. We got a late check out. I don't do pool in the daylight because 1. There's too many people there. 2. I don't do sun. I must be part vampire or sumthin. and 3. my suit was wet and a bit tight to begin with so there was no way I was getting it over my ass again! (Note to self, must stay on tread mill longer...ok and ditch the cookies, geez ur tough) So I just take in the rich atmosphere of the surroundings. The beautiful mountains, the warm to hot breeze, the water fall into the pool. Of course PB is in the room napping. Thought about "interrupting" his nap *wink wink* But by the time I thought of it, it was too late. How married am I??

As we were waitng for Tammy to pull up I saw someone come out who looks familiar, I'm on my phone with a another friend while I notice this guy. And sure enough it is who I think it is "Spence" from King Of Queens, Patton Oswalt. I couldn't take a pic because I was on the phone and didn't want to just hang up and be rude to use my camera phone. I know, unlike me. Then Patton gets into a crappy black Hyundai or Ford, I mean it looked like an older one, not even newer, that belonged to a friend I guess. I'm also guessing he ain't sharing the wealth then and buying his friends new cars. It can't be his car, I mean c'mon he has to have some coinage to afford a nice car. For chrissakes I drive a Lexus RX300 and I only make $2,700 a year if I'm lucky!! He drives away b 4 I can make a total ass outta myself by saying something stupid like "Hey I'm a comedian too!" Like he hasn't heard that one b 4. The Gods were smiling on me...and Patton.

As we drive away we take a deep breath one more time to remember our excellent night in luxury. Then we go to the casino that's on the way home. I lost $20 but Tammy won $20. Yea, I shoulda been chanting and rubbing the slot machine like she was. Lesson learned.

SO yea, I decided that that's how I want to travel from now on, struggling comic or not!! I want to travel and stay in luxury because....THAT'S JUST HOW WE ROLL!!

CRYSTAL BLUE PERSUASION

2007-05-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

Saturday, May 05, 2007

CRYSTAL BLUE PERSUASION!
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Life

I know, I know, I promised to continue my last post. BUT this takes priority. And I will finish my last post.

Today I met the most amazing little boy that just knocked my socks off! Today, my great nephew made his debut to this planet. I got the call at 7a.m. that my niece was in active labor & had been at the hospital since 1 a.m. After 3 hours of sleep, I actually did start to adjust to Ca. time as much as I tried not to & was up till 4a.m. I got up and in the shower getting ready to go with my parents to the hospital. My mother was going to be there to greet her first great grand child at 64 yrs. old. We're a family of Ho's, we start young. But not as young as some of the other new mothers there! 17 & 18yrs. old. I had the oldest daughter and no grand child! WTF??

We get to the hospital and my niece was at 4 centimeters & had the epidermal. We were told it'd be awhile. An hour and a half later she's at 8 centimeters!! Won't be so long now I guess. I told my sister it was about to get real ugly! At 8 centimeters the epidermal gets shut off and the real pain begins.

My neice was really suffering. Not having any real sleep in a few weeks she is exhausted, has back pain and a major headache. THEN starts to vomit TMI?? That's life baby. My sister can't handle it and comes out for me to help her hold it together. She can't stand seeing her daughter in so much pain. I reminded her this was the ugly part I told her about. Jess was 9 1/2 cent. now, so I told her it was almost over, take a deep breath, and she will be fine & a grandma real soon. My mother never left Jessie's side. She talked to her quietly, rubbed her temples & kept her focused. She did that for me with my daughter's birth. Sam, the father, bless his heart, is just glad to have 3 women in there handling all this. He's just hoping he won't faint! He's 21 and Jess just turned 22.

My sister sucks it up and goes back in. We don't see anyone for a wee while so I know now it's in the last stage. Before we know it my mother comes out and just the look on her face says it all! I jump up and say "He's Here! Isn't he?" She nods, she cries, I cry as we hug each other.

She goes on to explain how amazing it was to watch Clayton make his way into the world. As soon as his head was out he was looking around. His arm came out before his shoulders somehow. All I could picture was Jim Carey in one of the Ace Ventura movies where he's trying to get out of the fake rhino's ass and his arm is flying all around...end scene. The rest of the baby follows. My mother couldn't get over how alert he was and looking around. She said he was so handsome ect. She then says he was smiling. I'm thinking "Crazy old Lady! You sneak any of them drugs yourself?"

After an hour, Jessie is ready to go to her room and we get to escort her. I'm so excited. I was there when she was born and now I'm here when she has her son. I took one look at him and he just blew me away. He actually did look me right in the eye and smiled!! Not once but twice!! And I had NO access to any drugs! I watched him check out the new people coming to see him. His granfather and great grandfather! It was incredible! I couldn't help but cry. The energy from this baby was overwhelming. Talk about your crystal baby?!!

He is one of the crystal or rainbow children coming in now. AND my sister and niece have no idea!! I just kept saying how special he was. And I mean SPECIAL! Not special in a short bus kinda way but a truly amazing soul way. This boy is going to come up with some wild shit according to my sister's standards, which is real normal in my circle. It's nothing for kids of my friends to say "Remember when I use to be your mom?" I remember I was a _______in a past life" I can't wait!!

I told my mother what kind of special I was talking about. She said don't tell ur sister or Jessie. They will freak out! SO it's our little secret. I have to read up on these kids again, it's been awhile. I can always tell who they are in public. They are the ones where I look them in the eye and if I get their attention I talk to them telepathically and say "I know who you are." And that always gets a smile. Then I say telepathically, "I know you can see what is around me. I know you see the Angels." That gets even a bigger grin. The parents look at me like WTF? Why does it look like my kid is talking to you?? Because they are!!

It happened in a restaurant one time after staffing Doreen Virtue's ATP class in Laguna. The staff went out to eat and one staff member noticed a baby less than a yr. looking at us and really looking all around us at our table. She was in a high chair. So I did my usual, "We know you can see the Angels around us. We know who you are and are here to help you." She got so excited. She wouldn't even face her family anymore. The grandmother was getting a bit freaked. As I continued to talk to her telepathically she reached her hand out to me and I to her. It was soooo cool. As they left the restaurant she continued to stare at us. And now I have one of them I can play with in the family!! My sister and niece may not always get him but Auntie Witchy Woman and Uncle Psychic Boy do!

My cuz in Belfast has a niece that is 4 yrs. old that talks about how my Uncle, her Grandfather tucks her in at night and how funny he is. She was telling me all about him. He died in 1993. My cuz is the only one who knows who she really is too. She teaches her that seeing Angels, Fairies, & relatives who aren't "here" is ok and normal.

I am exhausted but so excited. It's been an emotional, wonderful day.

THAT'S JUST HOW WE ROLL!

2007-05-09T21:23:00.002-07:00

THAT'S JUST HOW WE ROLL!!
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Fashion, Style, Shopping

Oh hell yea!! We're back!! We did a show this past Friday in Palm Desert AND we stayed at the Renaisance (don't pick on my spelling now! I'm on a roll!) Esmeralda Resort and Spa! Now that's what I'm talking about! I think I finally got the Motel 5 1/2 ick off me from last summer in Ohio.

It brouhgt tears to my eyes as I realized I was home again in a 5 star hotel! Now this is what I was use to! A lobby, door men, (oh yea, loves my door men) bell men, (love them too!), stores, restaurants, a kick ass pool, room service, AND a beautiful "Desert Dreaming" sign to put on our door. No handwritten note here!! AHHHHHHHHHHH! Now this is how I want to travel from now on! First class all the way!

We were asked what we wanted in our room for snakcs so we took the 2 bottles of wine for after the show & nuts and ice cream for the kids. ALL complimentary! We also got 2 free breakfasts for each room the next morning!! OMG!! Could it get any better??? Why yes it could but more on it later as Psychic Boy is jones-ing for the computer. We're still not home yet.

So, to be continued.......

GREEN LIPS AND HAM

2007-05-09T21:23:00.001-07:00

Saturday, March 24, 2007

GREEN LIPS AND HAM
Current mood: flirty

Oh yea peeps, you read right! Only it was green lips and cornbeef. But that doesn't sound as good. It was St. Paddy's Day, what did u expect??!!

I dress in what can only be described as a leprechaun on crack! A Leprechaunie if you will. LOL I mean I go all out from the Irish flag painted on my eye lids, shamrocks on my cheeks, a green velvet Goddess top, a green sequenced hat that my HUGE shamrock sunglasses sit on, lime green pants from GoodWill rolled up to show my green striped socks that are adorned with my lovely green rubber turned up elf shoes & to round off my amazingly tacky outfit I have bright green lips!

Yup! If I was dressed like that in Ireland I would be sniper shot!

Here's the thing, unbenounced to me my green lips were a creepy guy magnet!! Who knew?? Yuppers!! I had all kinds of creepy guys hitting on me due to the green lips. I'm not sure what that means but I'm sure it's disturbing!

Altho I did have one hot young guy hit one so that was cool and I did give him a kiss. Ok I frenched him, did I mention my tongue was green too?? Ok I lied, I didn't french him and my tongue wasn't green. But he did hit on me and I gave him a kiss on the cheek!! GEEZ! What's the matter with me?? I must be getting old! In my 20's I woulda planted a big wet one on him. You may take that any way you like! :-)

I will be posting the pics soon...of me not the creepy guys.

So FYI for next St. Paddy's Day, if you decide to wear your lips green, BEWARE!!

I GOT THE 666! UH OH! AM I GOING TO HELL NOW??

2007-05-09T21:21:00.000-07:00

Thursday, March 22, 2007

I GOT THE 666! UH-OH! AM I GOING TO HELL NOW??
Current mood: giddy

I just saw that my video has had 666 views!! KEWL! Or maybe not so cool. To quote Paris, all my friends need rehab after hanging w/ me, Hilton, "THAT'S HOT" (just shoot me now for even going there) is more like it. Does this mean that I am indeed the anti Christ of comedy?? Say it ain't so!! Well, would I have any super powers?? I might be able to embrace it then. It would definitely explain the 2 pointy bumps I've been feeling lately on my head and the thing on my lower back looking a bit like a tail. Hmmmm this also means that I would be the ruler of hell right?? This is really starting to look up people! PaRtY at my place!! Just keep heading south you'll find it and BRING PLENTY OF ICE!!

I really shoudn't write ANYTHING when it's this late & I'm tired. I'm guessing this will be deleted when I read it tomorrow before anyone else can read it.

MAN! WHAT A FREAKIN YEAR I'M HAVING!

2007-05-09T21:19:00.000-07:00

Sunday, March 04, 2007

MAN! WHAT A FREAKIN YEAR I'M HAVING!!
Current mood: giddy

I just couldn't use the Card Me Baby One More Time again. BUT!!!!! I ALMOST got carded again!! Why didn't I??? Because the woman remembered me from over a week ago. Last week, not the day before or from that morning...I don't have a problem or anything. :-) She remembered me from my stunning beauty, yea, that's it! I mean c'mon how many 45 yr.olds does she card??!!

I was only in there because PB had his "bro-mance" (a name for guys who are straight but are like girlfriends) Uh-oh PB is gonna kill me when he reads this one. Jeremy was down from Tampa. He is one of the people whose life was dramatically changed from our store that I mentioned in the last blog. Now where was I...oh yea...we went out to eat while PB took a nap. He prefers napping to eating.

I mention to Jeremy about the amazing delicious tiramazu martinis. He said he liked tiramazu so that sounded interesting. So I looked in my purse for my bartender, Mac's, schedule. Ah hell no! I didn't just say I had my bartender's schedule in my purse! But yay!! He was on!! So away to Manhattan Grill we went.*super hero dash* We get there and Mac sees me and says "I already know what you want" I said, "Make it 2" My son says, "Come in here much??" Hmmm I know it looks like I'm one step away from an AA meeting but I'm not I swear. It's been over a month since I've been in to see Mac.

We only had one as they are freakin expensive! They went up .50 to $8!! There ain't no drink I'm gonna pay $8 for....again! Well, I got Jeremy hooked now so off to Walgreens we go to get the ingredients to make our own. I've been buying a little at a time planning for the big day when I got ALL the ingredients. The shaker first, then the martini glasses, the instant expresso. Now it was time for the big guns! The Frangelica and vanilla vodka oh yea and the half and half too.

So I go to Walgreens and get my goodies, almost got carded, and went home and made some kick ass tiramazu martinis that I shared w/PB's "bro-mance" & watched the Secret! What another great day!! Life is good!

SIT ON YOUR STOLL NOT IN YOUR STOOL!

2007-05-09T21:16:00.000-07:00

SIT ON YOUR STOOL NOT IN YOUR STOOL!!
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life

Yes, that is just a nice way of saying quit sitting in your SHIT!! Why am I writing about this?? Well I'll tell you....

Having been around Light Workers for years now, one thing I have found is that many are good at sitting in their shit! In my humble opinion the term Light Worker is obsolete. Either you are a Light Warrior by now or just a Light Whiner! I am on several boards where all I see is Baaawaa baawaa this is happening to me, baawaa baawaa that is happening to me. ENOUGH ALREADY!!

I was having a conversation the other day with several people when we were discussing about sitting in one's own stool, feces, poopy, ect. What I said was when we sit in our shit we don't know who we are denying amazing experiences. What do I mean by that? Well, I'll you....

I worked for Doreen Virtue, a well known metaphysical author. I staffed her week long Angel classes (I'm not typing what it's called due to legal BS about how to write it) We were in Dublin Ireland for a class and afterwards Doreen and her husband Steven Farmer, also a wonderful author, were performing a handfasting ceremony for me and PB to renew our vows.

There were students from the class there at our friend's amazing 1 acre place in Wicklow. After the ceremony we stood in a circle & spoke a few words to everyone who attended. I thanked Doreen for stepping up and getting out of her shit and being the person she was meant to be. (Yea, I probably did say exactly that or something close to it) Because if she had stayed in her shit sitting at home with a weight problem, over indulging in a lot of different things feeling sorry for herself, NONE of us would be standing there right at that moment in the beautiful, magickal, Ireland!

NONE of us would have met! And how sad would that have been. I have met some amazing people staffing for Doreen. I have met & worked with the Princess Of Bali due to staffing. I got to meet and thank James Van Praagh in person due to staffing. A 10 yr. dream I had to meet him came true. I was author, Dolores Canon's driver because of staffing. What an honor to be able to spend time with this woman. I have met a lot of my soul family because of Doreen. This is just my experiences because Doreen stepped up to the plate. How many of you out there have read her books and it made a HUGE difference in your life?? "Read Light Worker's Way." She is very honest about where she was when she decided to start on to her REAL path.

Can you even imagine how sad it would've been if Doreen had been like many others, afraid to move forward and step into their power?? Don't let fear hold you back! Doreen started where many of us have been or are at.

That is why I say, if you're sitting in your shit you don't know who you are denying some incredible experiences or be the reason people meet. I could talk about how our store, even tho not open for long, changed some peoples' lives in a profound way. For that reason alone we have no regrets having opened it. Maybe that's the only reason we were suppose to open it.

So are you sitting on your stool or in your stool??

IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE.....

2007-05-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE....
Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

YOU must ALLOW yourself to RECEIVE!

I have a weekly Secret conference call every Monday. I started it back in Sept when I heard about The Secret...well, heard about it more. I wanted to start a support group that could help one another HABITUATE the behavior of success. So there is 4 of us that get together every week and talk about our successes and struggles so we can cheer one another on and help remove any blocks we are unable to see for ourselves. We are seeing some great changes in our lives!!

We kick one another's asses if need be. We pick a word for the month for our focus. And this month it was receive. Women in general have a hard time receiving anyway. I know this from working in salons. And to hit the point home I said "In order to achieve we must allow ourselves to receive."

I didn't realize how profound that was gonna sound. In The Secret, one of the steps in reaching our goals is to receive. How many of us sabatoge ourselves just because we don't allow ourselves to receive?? When we allow ourselves to receive we give someone else a gift.

I try like hell to get my "Angel" friends to understand that one. They are ALWAYS giving yet have a hard time receiving. So I ask them "How does it make you feel to give?" They say "I love the way it makes me feel!" SO then I say "So why would you deny someone else that feeling??" SO remember by receiving, not only does that open yourself to achieving but you allow someone else to receive a gift!

MORK CALLING ORSON...COME IN ORSON!

2007-05-09T21:14:00.000-07:00

Yea, that's pretty much my life with a medium and psychic friends. I am their lead boots and they are my helium balloons! Somebody's got to stay in body, so I guess I'm the one that signed up for that one. Sooooo I feel like Mork calling Orson a lot of the times.

Case in point. We had a friend recently visiting for 5 days. While we were out, I was driving of course, she announces, (yes, I'm omitting names on purpose) "I'm being called out, I'll be out of my body for a bit." Well, at least she gives warning. PB just goes.

I'm thinking, "who's calling her out and why now??" People think I make this shit up! Nope, nada, hand to God, this IS my life. So away she went, not sure why, but apparently it's quite common that she gets "called out." I was expecting her to share some kick ass profound information. I mean c'mon! You're here to see us and you just go and leave your body like that?? I want some cooll info beeyatch! Didn't they use to institutionalize & medicate people for saying that kind of stuff? Ahhhh I miss the good ole days. What if I did that while driving??!! Oh yea, that's why they make me drive, I don't do that. But one of these days I'm gonna! Like it matters, they'll be outta body anyway too. I guess we could all watch ourselves go off the Skyway Bridge then. Yea, I'm staying in body & will continue to drive my helium balloons around town.

So you can only imagine what kind of fun I have when we're ALL together. I'm like the person in the park selling the helium balloons and trying to stay grounded. LOL Good times, Good times!

CARD ME BABY YET ONE MORE TIME! Woot Woot!!

2007-02-19T15:22:00.000-08:00

Yup, sang yet again to Brittany, money doesn't buy you panties, Spears'song "Hit Me Baby One More Time". Someone needs to do it!! Where's her mother??? Someone needs to smack some sense into that girl!

I know! What is this? Like the third time I've had to use this phrase? I am having a grrrreat year! Tonight is the 3rd time I've been carded since my b-day!! I know! Hard to believe! I'm freakin 45!! AND I'm still, on occasion, getting carded!! Woot Woot!

I went to Wagreens to indulge in a bit of the white grape, chardonnay to be exact. I've been focusing on The Secret a lot today and genuinely feeling it. Feeling the gratitude of all that I have. I went for a over 3 mile walk on our quartz crystal sand beach today and sat on the sand trying to clear my live chi stagnation. It was amazing...the beach not the liver chi. A separate blog to follow about it. I've just been in that attitude of gratitude ALL day today. AND apparently it makes you look younger!!! Yea baby!! That's what I'm talking about!!

I was browsing looking for the ingredients for the tiramsu martini, geez it's expensive! But sooooo delicious! My daughter is a bad influence on me! She turned me onto to them and now I MUST have them every so often. I decide to just get my wine and pay. The cashier looks at me, I have my sunglasses on, my Laguna Beach hoodie & Tinker Bell yoga pants when she asked to see ID. Almost broke into my happy dance, not a pretty site, glad I refrained.

She looked at my ID, then me, then the ID so I took off my sunglasses. She said "WOW you have great skin and DON'T look your age!!" She is now my best friend! We're hangin tomorrow. I said that good skin and mental illness ran in my family, I got the good skin.....some may disagree, but I don't care because they don't get carded!! HA! They're just jealous! Sorry Mom. :-)

Now I'm off to do my happy dance in private, which is the only time I should do it, really. :-)

DO YOU HAVE I.D.D.??

2007-02-19T11:24:00.000-08:00

Everybody is always talking about ADD but how about IDD?? Psychic Boy coined that lil ditty awhile ago. It stands for INTENTION Deficit Discorder. Now that the movie The Secret is out maybe people will pay attention to what their intent REALLY is! It's ALL about the intent baby!!

If you don't like where your life is right now then you have suffered from IDD!! If you feel your life is spiraling down the ole crapper fast and furious, you suffered from IDD!! Health not the best?? You suffered from I.D.D. Don't have the relationship you want? YUP! I.D.D. again!! The great news is.... the cure is immediate! Just change your intent! Now there is a bit of work with it because you have to HABITUATE the intent you really desire as not to fall back into old intent. Another GREAT word I love is APPLY!!

I have friends that have taken ALL kinds of classes on manifesting and then would share what they had learned with me. After a year or so of this, they call me to ask me how I manifested a 6 figure income and my brand new Lexus RX 300 (it was 2001) They were still struggling financially and STILL focusing on healing BS from ALL their past lives or something. I don't know, I just know it got REAL old after awhile. Move on already! Talk about over killl??!!

I said to them, they were on a 3 way call, "Remember all those classes you were constantly taking on manifesting and Angels?? And then shared the info with me?? Well, I just APPLIED the knowledge!!" DUH!! Not only had I manifested those things, but I also worked for Doreen Virtue and they were the ones who introduced me to her work!! None of them ever had the money to take her week long class I ended up staffing for.

So what's the lesson here kiddies?? Be AWARE of your INTENT, it's your magick wand! HABITUATE the behavior of success. AND APPLY the knowledge you learn!! That my friends is The Secret!

HAPPY MANIFESTING!!

You can listen to us talking about The Secret/Law of Attraction on Paranormal Talk

Just go to the archived segaments. We were on Feb. 13th

LIVER CHEESE!

2007-02-17T11:03:00.000-08:00

Saturday, February 17, 2007

LIVER CHEESE!
Current mood: amused
Category: Life

I had an acupuncture appt. on Wed. My friend goes to East West College and gave me a free pass to have some acupuncture done. I thought cool! Could always use some balancing ya know?

So I go and start to fill out the long detailed questionaire on things I don't keep track of like how many times a day I pee, what color is it yada yada yada. So you know they ask about the "dropping deuce" too, not going there, u can thank me later. It does ask however, things like, stress related to job. I put "dying on stage." It gives you a list of things to check if you have a problem with them so next to hearing I put "What?" I was bored and my elf guide Bryon was in rare form. I guess since I haven't started my 2nd book that he's suppose to help me with, he'll help out with questionnaires instead. Good elf. And he's apparently tall and handsome like Aragon with brown hair...hubba hubba. Note to self I need to meditate more so I can see this handsome elf!!

I get called in and since it's a student clinic it looks like a scene from Scrubs or Grey's Anatomy. I'm being seen by a crew! The supervising Dr. decided to come in because he read what I did for a living. Oh the pressure! Oh yea, I didn't know that at the time...nevermind. Was trying to have a drama queen moment.

So we go in a room and the same questions are asked again. What's your pee like? What's your poo like? Blah Blah blah. And Bryon and I wasted our time why??? To see if I was lying? Then I had to stick my tongue out at them. Cool! I wanted to do that anyway! Yea, well, you don't want to do that to someone who is in school for Chinese Medicine! Your tongue is like a freakin tarot deck! They get waaaay to much info on you by doin that!! Note to self, don't stick my tongue out at my friend Denise anymore!!

It was funny because we were introducing ourselves and I said my name was Connie Jordan. Then Denise says, this is Witchy Woman. The everybody says "OH! your're Witchy Woman?? Cool" So they knew who Witchy Woman was. Had a famous moment there. Yet I wasn't recognizable by my picture on the flier that had been hanging in their cafeteria?? Don't even want to think about that.

So we get on with the pin cushion session. I tell them that I've had tennis elbow for over a year since we painted our house, so I guess I have house elbow, let's work on that & I've had some knee pain. So they start the sticking the pins in process. Some I feel more than others. Then they stick seeds, pellets, whatever the hell they are on my ear that I have to squeeze when I thiunk of it over the next few days. OUCH! It's suppose to help with my elbow. (?) Then they go out and talk behind my back. They call it consulting with the Dr. whatever!

I'm lying there trying to relax going to my happy place. Not one of my strong suits yet. Shoulda been working on seeing hubba hubba Bryon!

TO be continued later......

Had to take PB to the Irish Festival to perform.

Now on with my story. Finally I am realeased from all my pins & electrodes, I apparently had some of that too, and I'm free to go. SO I get up and I notice my vision isn't right. I mean it's pretty bad for me, someone who has eyes like a hawk! My vision is very blurred! When I mention it to the Dr. he just said "Really? huh!" WHAT?? My vision sucks and all he can say is that?? You mean this ISN'T common?? I figured he would say "Yea that can happen after a session." But nope! That is not what I heard! Apparently it isn't that common. WTF?? DO I need to get a seeing eye dog now?? I can paint my house now......BUT I CAN'T SEE IT!! I can play tennis but I need a dog that knows how to play! Yea, like I would play tennis.

Apparently what caused my blurry vision is that I have liver chi stagantion! Again WHAT?? Yup! The eyes are connected to the liver. Don't cha just love Chinese Medicine?? And liver issues has to do with anger issues. Ya think?? I'm pissed I can't see!! The irony of all this is that my sister drinks quite a lot and I HAVE the liver chi stagnation???!! Things that make ya go hmmmm...and WTF?

So now I have to meditate and go over the things that I may have held anger towards and release them. DAMMIT! Oh and go back Wed for another appt. to be a pin cushion. So when I told PB all about this, as I felt his face so I could see it, he said "you have liver cheese stagantion??" No you dope! Liver chi stagantion. Yea, go ahead, get me mad! Apparently I have enough to be mad at! I constantly have to remind him who the comdian is around here. :-)

SO there u have it, my live cheese story.

WE KILLED AT FOUR GEES

2007-02-17T11:01:00.000-08:00

SATURDAY FEB.10, 2007

WE KILLED AT 4 GEES
Current mood: accomplished

Star date Jan 21st 2007 7:30p.m. WE KICKED ROYAL BOOTAY!! We ROCKED the house! It was awesome!! It was our first show of the year and it was sold out! AND we had to turn people away!!

While I have performed infront of several hundred people before, it was just 5 min open mics. This was our very own 2 hour show! So having 60 people is incredible. We were scrounging for chairs to accommodate as many people as we could. We were at capacity.

The first time I did a paying gig was in Feb 2005 in Huntington Bch Ca. and I had 25 people there, we were squeezing them in there as well.. It felt like 250!! I got a standing O that night. It blew me away. When you have people that are right there with you as you take them on your comedy ride...well, there's nothing like it! You get hooked!

So that night, Jan 21st was our first "big" show & everyone had a great time. People came up to us saying how much fun they had and how funny we were. (I got a standing O if you count people standing at intermission...and I do! :-) ) It was awesome! I wish I could do it more! We'll be booking another show there soon, probably March.

It's so weird how things work in comedy. It's a hit or miss here in God's waiting room, because people aren't into metaphysics much here. They say they are but they are not. Mostly wanna bees. But in So Cal I do well everytime no matter if it's a metaphysical store, a coffee house or a comedy club. I've done the Improv out there with a great reception. They just get me out there. I guess cause everyone sees dead people out there or something. Who cares! I fit in somewhere! Now alls I got to do is move!

On those amazing nights I just know that comedy is my love and I am her bitch!

GIGALO WEEZE AND CORN BREAD!

2007-02-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

GIGALO WEEZE AND CORN BREAD!
Current mood: embarrassed

The category should say flogging as in a public one.

Now on to my night of public humiliation.......It's been 3 weeks so I can talk about it now...kinda

PB and I did a comedy gig in Palmetto FL. or as some like to call it, unbenounced to me, Palmghetto. I answered a bulletin, because the area code was my own, and what's this?? An actual opportunity to perform somewhere in my area?? The bulletin stated if you wanted stage time to "hit me up" So being the stage whore that I am and not to miss a chance to get on one, a stage, I contacted this poster....even tho I was hesitant due to my material. It's not for every kind of crowd. I really learned that one!!

Well, I respond to it explaining what I do and Gigalo Weeze, the poster & organizer, was really interested, I mean really excited!! I couldn't believe it! I was still leary because, ya know, a comedy gig called Big Bro may not be the place for metaphysical humor. But Gigalo reassured me that the crowd will love it, they like ALL kinds of humor. Yea, whatever Gigalo!

I wanted PB with me because I figured if I was going down he was going with me!! I ain't going down alone. (Yes, I see the obvious jokes here but focus dammit!!) I also figured the parodies would warm them up......joke was on us. You can see how this night went already. So much for building up the suspense of it all. *sigh*

We get there ON TIME! Which I found out black people are not known for. I know about Cubans, they have their own time. Rahn Man, the MC says to me "You haven't worked with a lot of black people have you??" My response "Umm No" The other comedians start arriving and they are great. I'm sure they're wondering why our white bread asses are there but they are very nice to us none the less.

People start arriving and the other comics are nervous looking out at them saying they look like a tough crowd. OK! This is the black comics saying this!! IF THEY ARE NERVOUS??!!!! Where the hell does that leave us???? The Christians to the lions??? I think I had, at that moment, another past life flash back! I was seeing the Coliseum in Rome!! Altho my belief is that they didn't feed the llons enough!! :-) I told Gigalo that, "This is feeling like the the whole Coliseum thiing in Rome Gigalo." At the very least the Titanic! He assured me "Naaaaa"

So we're hanging back stage with all the other comics, Cornbread is the only other name I really remember. No, wait, that's a lie, I remember LC, cause he was a hottie. I think they said he had been on BET. We were having a great time with them laughin and carrying on. Listening to Urban slang is quite interesting. I find it extremely creative. I won't go into the whole stoy as to how I found out this little ditty but I found out what "dropping mud" meant. Let's see, how can I eloquently put this....it means to have a bowel movement. That alone there was worth the whole night!! OH AND meeting LC. Did I mention he was a hottie?

The line up is made and the 3 white comics go on first. Me and PB count as one. We were 3rd. Hmmm I said "What's this? Fill them up on whitle bread so they won't be so aggitated??" See? The Coliseum!! I knew it!! The only other girl, Genuine Design, YAY I remembered another name! Said, "If I don't get any laughs I'll do the sex postions, that ALWAYS gets them going." She goes out and not much is happening then I peek out and I see her going into the sex postions and I thought " OK, We're F**KED!!" AND we're next!! I was thinking, "How the hell do I get out of here!!" I have never wanted to NOT be a stage whore more than at that moment when they called our names.

Oh yea, it was as bad, if not worse than I thought!! A couple of hundred Urban people looking at us like we just ran over their box of puppies!! I had no sex postions, no drug or arrest stories, or nothing to fall back on either!! We were sooooo screwed! Nothing worked, not the songs, not my skeptic joke that ALWAYS gets a great laugh! Not even my myspace joke that I do to remember to give my URL which I DID NOT do BTW!! Just got the same "You ran over my box of puppies you bitch!" look. PB conveniently "forgot" the damn words to the last song he did (not the last song he was gonna do) so I knew it was time to call time of death and get the hell out of there.

The other comics back stage asked how it went. I said we had to call time of death & got outta there. Bless Gigalo's heart, he asked if we were coming back!! I said "Really??? NOOOOOO!"

Thank Goddess we had a kick ass, sold out show the week before!! It totally ROCKED!! It helped ease the pain of our public humiliation. Ya know, I don't believe what they say about comedy, "Funny is Funny" Or something like that. It means if you're funny you'll get laughs. That's not the case. All I can tell you is that the sex positions would've died a death with my crowd. And probably most of the comedians would've died a death with my crowd the week before....except LC, cause he's a hottie, did I mention that? What's funny to some is not funny to others.

So what's the lesson here kiddies?? Urban and metaphysics just do NOT mix!! So we decided that if we ever get hit really hard on the head some day and decide to do another Urban comedy show, our names will be Cheezy Weazel and Porn Bread.

I do want to thank Gigalo and Chris for having us, they wanted to try something new so we gave it a shot. I want to thank all the other comics who were very supporitve and fun to hang with!! It was great meeting everybody!! I couldn't have tanked with a greater bunch of comics!! :-)

ODE TO AN OVARY!

2007-02-17T10:58:00.000-08:00

Thursday, January 04, 2007

ODE TO AN OVARY!
Current mood: anxious

Scene, May 2006, My daughter saw fit in her infinite wisdom to ignore the advice of her nurse practitioner to get an ultrasound for an enlarged ovary.

Roll ahead to Dec. 20, 2006. She now is in excruciating pain and must be rushed to the hospital thinking she can score some serious, kick ass drugs and go home. Joke was on her because instead, she was rushed into emergency surgery. Altho, when we saw her in the ER she was pretty hopped up on some serious kick ass drugs, so mission partly accomplished. The IV kind too & the bitch wouldn't share! Did anyone consider the pain of the mother as she watched her baby girl lying there long enough that the pain meds were wearing off a little so she was in pain again?? Did anyone consider that at all?? NO!! They were just concerned about her. I mean honestly! Would it have hurt to have dulled my pain just a little?? Hope she's not reading this. Naaaa why would she read anything her mother wrote? I'm safe enough.

So instead of awaiting the birth of a grandchild (I KNOW! Hard to believe. I had her at 9...I swear) I am the proud grandmother of a 6oz tumor that has the possibility of being malignant AND a left ovary!! WTF!! All I got was a damn picture! (God that sounds like a bad t-shirt) Ok, and my daughter's life, which did mean the world to us to have her home for Christmas. Great! Now I sound like a corn ball Christmas song.

But being the good comedienne that I am, after a good melt down mind you, I did write a few jokes for my act about this whole ordeal. And to quote the famous "In Living Color" fake Tracy Chapman "Wrote a song about it, goes a little like this.." It's to the tune of John Denver's "Grandma's Feather Bed" Still have to work out a few things with it.

ODE TO AN OVARY

I wrote this for Elatia
To remind her of that day
When what she thought was routine gas
Was a mass on her O-va-ray
It was checked by every doctor
The technicians poked it too
They didn't know what the hell it was
So they sent it off to FSU

Chorus
I love my heart, I love my lungs
I love my Ovaries too
Now one has gone to heaven
And the other one's quite blue
So I went into the hospital
A surgeon for to see
With a snip, snip, snip, slash, slash, slash.
He cut it out for me

Mom thought it was the right one
All fathers issues there,
But when they took the left one out
She went into despair.
At first she didn't believe it
She said, "Go take another look."
If it had of been the right one
She'd be off the hook

Then mom said

We're not perfect parents
We never tried to be
We only hoped we'd mess you up
Only minimal-lee
I know I wasn't perfect
And that was just a rumor
I know I wasn't bad enough
For u to get a big ass tumor

It was round and small like a tiny little ball
Has a mass the size of my head
It caused me pain again, and again
Now I'm stuck in bed
If I had to do it over again
I'll tell you this my friend
I wouldn't wait as long as I did
And I'd now be on the bend

I'M SO RONERY OH SO RONERY....

2007-02-17T10:57:00.000-08:00

Thursday, November 30, 2006

I'M SO RONERY! OH SO RONERY!!!
Current mood: crushed
Category: Life

That title is sung to the tune in Team America F**K YEA!! by the Korean leader.

Chrissy went home yesterday *tears welling* so now *snif snif* so now *big SNIIIFFFFF* I HAVE NO ONE TO PLAY WITH NOW!! Full on snotters and sobs now...fighting fetal position..can't hold on much longer............DAMMIT! I lost. In fetal postion, sucking thumb and sobbing now..have to type with toes.....

better go before I get a toe cramp.

CARD ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!

2007-02-17T10:56:00.000-08:00

CARD ME BABY EVEN ONE MORE TIME!
Current mood: giddy
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural

Yup! Still sung to the Brittney (Leaving K-Fed still doesn't buy you any class) Spears. I am having a FANTASTIC year, age wise!! I have been carded 3 TIMES so far this year!! That's a record!

We went out last night with the girls. DeDe, one of my daughter's brides maids got engaged so we went to celebrate that too. We go to the Cock & Bull a tiny neighborhood watering hole. hole being the operative word. They where charging a cover, for what I dunno, there's no live entertainment there. But it's only $2. So we each go up and she wants to see ID!! So I said, "really??" She said "yes." I said, "So you're just carding everybody who's coming in?" I want to make sure this is no fluke. I want it to be a bonifed carding. And sure enough it was!! She said there were some whom she did not card!! YAY!!! This is so cool!! This totally feeds into my delusion of the 40's being the new 30's and even 20's!! I am soooo down with that!!

Man! I am having a great year!! Even if it isn't career wise!

Using THE SECRET Who's in??

2006-12-28T10:12:00.000-08:00

I watch The Secret a lot and the story that sticks out in my mind the most is the Jack Canfield one. I love the $100,000 in a year story. So we got to thinking and decided to make our products available for download.

I did what Jack did, only I upped the anti. I set a goal for $500,000 or more for next year. We've already made over $100,000 in a yr. so I wanted to stretch it. So all we need is 100,000 downloads in a yr. which seems very doable. And like Jack, if we don't hit $500,000 but only $450,000 or $300,000 will I say this doesn't work?? Hell no!! I'm sure the oppotunites to get our products out there to the masses will come in. We've already had 6 downloads so ONLY 999,994 to go!!! Woo Hooo We're on a roll! What's your Secret??

Psychic Boy a.k.a. Martin is a licensed clinical hypnotherapist and meditation specialist. (Remember? He's a paranormal over achiever) He has 3 CDs with several meditations on each that you can now download for $5.95 per CD. These may not be in the right order...just how I remembered them. We will be adding more CDs soon. So if you've tried to meditate and have had a hard time.....START DOWN LOADING NOW! What r u waiting for!?

CD #1: (most popular)
"Intro to meditation"
"Meet Your Spirit Guides"
"Goal Achievement"

CD#2
"Light Warrior, Psychic Protection" This is a powerful one.
"Prosperity"

CD#3
"Intro to regression"
"Pre Life Regression"
"Past Life Regression"

My Book "So, These Two Dead Guys Walked Into A Bar" "My Life in The Paranormal. One Comic's Perspective" is a funny look into my life in the paranormal & living with a medium. Plus it's also a look into the healing powers of humor. You can read some reviews on my www.myspace.com/witchywoman7777 home page or at amazon.com. I have reviews from 6 different countries. It's availbale for $8.95 download.

Martin's book "Conversations With Merlin" it's a guide to life idiosyncrasies/mysteries as seen by Merlin. Yes, he was up many a night talking with Merlin. Yup, that's why I had to write a book! You can down load this for $5.95

Go check them out at
Triple Moon Press
Just click on product downloads

Here's what people have said about the meditation CDs....

"This meditation CD is Great! I have found it to be a wornderful first step into a new world of focus, peace and beauty. I have never meditated before now and find that every bit of advice is bringing out my own feelings and needs to go farther and learn more. Martin's voice is gentle and sure. The music calming and inspiring. I look forward to more CD's in the near future!"

Patti Meehan

"Martin, the meditations are so beautiful and wonderfully done. I haven't listened to all, but... The ones I have, allow me to know that these are the MOST healing and POWERUL meditations I have yet heard. Bless you, sweet man. Your voice is so perfect for meditation tapes.

Jill Bakke

Dear Martin:
Received your instructional CD on meditation yesterday and used it immediately. It was awesome! In my fumbling attempts at meditation in the past, I have had momentary feelings of a lightening of my body or, maybe you could call it sort of a tingling...but it's always gone the minute I notice it. I listened to the instructional section of your CD and then went on to the first guided meditation. That wonderful feeling started nearly immediately with the beautiful music and your voice...and it continued through the whole meditation. It was so cool! If this was just my first use of the CD, I can hardly wait to see what comes next!

Robin Smith

THE LOVE BOAT! EXCITING AND NEW...LOVE BOAT....

2006-12-12T19:38:00.000-08:00

daa dee daa daa dee laa laa....don't know the rest of the words. I mean C'mon! How long ago was that show on??

This blog about my experience with the Carnival Cruise Comedy Challenge. It was a great time!! I got to meet some of my myspace comic ho's from the east coast. Holla!

I knew I wouldn't make it thru to the finals because my metaphysical act is not really cruise line material unless it's a ghost one. Hmmm maybe the Queen Mary in Long Beach Ca. then. Note to self, contact the Queen Mary director.

I have to say that I did feel a bit famous as several comedians said to me "You're Witchy Woman! You're on my friend's list" Hey! I don't care who recognizes me or why! The point is I got recognized! OK? I thought that was cool.

I was in the first group to go in and the 2nd one up. I just wanted to get my 3 min. set over with so I could eat. The other comics were great! We supported one another which I like to see. We got interviewed afterwards. Turner Network was there taping. So you know I got infront of that camera every chance I got being the big camera whore that I am.

Which reminds me of a story.... TLC was taping at the spa where I worked and I kept getting into shots "accidently" *wink* & they kept kicking me out of shots. I know! Hard to believe! But they did. I whined that everybody should be in a shot since we all had to accommodate the show. So they did a pan of all of us clapping at the reveal......yea, they cut it! The cutting room floor it went. I think they shot us just to shut me up. So who knows, I just may end up on the cutting room floor again. Baaaa Waaaaaaa!

I did make it into 2 differnet newspapers...ok you have to really look for me in one of them and know it's me. But my mother called, to tell me I was in her paper!! I was in a group shot. YAY!!

The judges were the owners of comedy clubs and a talent agency. The talent agency guy scared me. I knew if I asked him a question he would make me cry. I got the impression that he felt you weren't a real comic unless you've been kicked around on the road and did at least one show in Perduka or is it Perdooka, anyways it's in NY where the people are mean. I don't do mean. Being metaphysical myself I don't care for the club atmosphere with heavy drinking, smoking, heckling, ect. I'm use to a more higher vibration atmospshere. So I don't work as often as I would like...yet. Clubs are not the only place to do comedy!! OK, if I had the opp to work in a club would I?? YES! And when I get to Ca. I will. But here in God's waiting room, I have to find other venues.

I was glad I could NOT see the judges, only the friendly faces of my new comic friends. Although rumor has it that the judges did infact laugh at some of my jokes.

Now, the Ca. Funniest Female Contest I'm out to win!! At the very least the top 3. That's where my focus is now. Winning that. I go out in April.

So, I didn't make it thru to the finals and I congratulated the ones that did. I was happy for them. But I did walk away having a great time, more experience infront of intimadating judges, & great new comic friends. How great is that?? A. Very! Comedy is my love and I am her Bitch! lol

PUSSY GALORE AND.....

2006-12-12T19:32:00.000-08:00

Funny Fanny! I know you UKers have a totally different meaning for fanny :-) But that name Funny Fanny does come from your part of the world too. I believe from a 007 spoof on a show once.

And the rest of you???? Get your mind out of the gutter!!

What's this really all about then? I hear you ask. Well, it's about a monthly girls night out that a local restarurant has. Every month they have a girl's night out with a theme. Remember my purdy feet and free wine story?? If not go back and read it!! This is the same event different month.

This month it was 007 Casino Royale. We were suppose to dress up like a Bond girl. Yea right! Then I guess I was going to be Halle Barry with a serious twinkie problem then!! Me and my cuz Chrissy discussed it and we decided to be a 1960's Bond girl. She was Pussy Galore and I was Funny Fanny for obvious reasons. Not because my fanny's funny but I am....so rumor has it.

The buffet was superb, the wine yummy, and the black jack dealer delicious!! According to Chrisitne anyways. Ok, he was a cutie patootie. I don't gamble other than the nickel slots in Vegas. But we weren't playing for money just chips to win a bottle of wine. I did not win this time. Although our table should've won something! We were the only ones dressed up! We take out themes very seriously. We are theme queens. We looked hot!!

Oh! Oh! oh! I almost forgot the best part! One of the women at my table who was a friend of my other friend there, couldn't beleive I was old enough to have a daughter who was married. She thought I was, now get this, drum roll PLLEEEEASE.......she thought I was 30-35!!!!! So I frenched her & we're now dating. Our husband's love it! And we get free Chinese food now since she owns a Chinese restaurant! She's my new best friend!!

It was a great night indeed. Although I had a hard time keeping Chrissy's attention. She couldn't stop drooling over our BL Jack dealer. But that's ok I had my new best friend beside me! :-)

MORK CALLING ORSON....COME IN ORSON!

2006-12-12T17:14:00.001-08:00

Can you hear me now??

Well, that's how our very first internet showe started out..."Can u hear me now???" How corn ball is that! But we had to make sure we were doing things right and the peeps could hear before we went any further. Apparently we actually could've screwed it up and had no one hearing us and that would've been a bloody shame since our first show was freakin hilarious!!

Did u miss it?? I sent the bulletin DAMMIT! You gotta read your bulletins. I know, I know, there's a load of crap on there with survey after stupid survey (ok I've done a few of them myself) or people threatening to delete you because "myspace has gotten so fake." What are you.. 5!!?? I save those people the trouble and I delete them! But just skim thru and look for the flaming red hair! :-) I ALWAYS post interesting stuff...I swear!

Anyways.... our first show was a hit! We had 52 listeners which I think was grrrreat! I didn't think we'd have any but the few family members I harrassed into listening. Our cuz Chrissy from Belfast did a fantastic job channeling Maizie from the Falls Rd in Belfast who doesn't know she's dead. For those of you who may not know your Belfast geographics, it's the Catholic, heavy IRA, part of Belfast.

We would ask Maizie metaphysical questions. So you can see what kind of show this was. Maizie knows more about metaphysics than my arse does about snipe shooting let's say. Yup! A famous Belfast expression...I must be channeling Maizie now! LOL

We are having a special show on Monday for our last time with Maizie before she has to go home on Wed. :^( Soooo not happy about that. My playmate is going home and I'll be back to bothering PB now to play with me.

So you can catch the archives of our show at (keeping fingers and eyes crossed that it works!) dynamicduo show

You can catch our show EVERY WED at 9 p.m. at the link above. If it works. If not just copy and paste http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dynamicduo

Hope to hear you there!!

Blessed Be! )0(
WW

LAST OF THE MOHAWKINS

2006-11-18T19:53:00.000-08:00

*TeeHee* Psychic Boy is going to kill me but this is too good to keep to myself.

The other day I was cutting and coloring PB's hair. Hair color...a beautiful thing! We use "Just For Men" now. It's easier and it works really great!! It really is made just for men because they make it so idiot proof, they really know how guys are. I read the directions and it made me laugh. Here's what it said about the timing

IMPORTANT: Start timing yourself AFTER application is completed

(this part I love!) DON'T GUESS: use TIMER, CLOCK or WATCH. (they left out microwave, egg timer, hour glass, or sundial) Wait ONLY 5 MINUTES or a bit less (to prevent haircolor from going to dark.)

I've been in the beauty biz awhile and I've NEVER seen directions like that. All it ever says is set timer.

Anyways I get the color on PB's head but I decided t have some fun. So I put his hair in a mohawk and have his hair sticking straight out on the sides. (you know they do that in the shower anyway) & let him go. He goes out side to smoke, says hi to the back neighbor, hi to someone walking their dog, he has no clue!! ROFLMAO!! LOL LOL LOL He's thinking his hair is all slicked back and looking all cool!! LOL LOL LOL LOL can't stop ROFLMAO You'd think him being psychic & all he'd see this one coming!! LOL LOL LOL

Then he goes into the bathroom for his daily pep talk to himself.. you know the one...fingers pointing at the mirror & saying "Who da man?? You da man!! You rock! It's going to be a grrrreat day!" blah blah blah Who is he?? Tony the Tiger?? But instead all I hear is & quite loudly, almost ear shattering, I might add is "CONNIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

He comes out and says "You did that on purpose!!" I say while runnning & LMAO "ummm duh!! Yea!! better hurry in the shower before you look like Eddie Munster!!"

Just thought I'd share......gotta stretch and get ready for another run for when he reads this!! LOL

Stay tuned for the next installment of how the Witch flies & makes her get away.

BB
WW )0(

FOX ON THE RUN! MOHAWKINS CONT.

2006-11-18T19:51:00.000-08:00

FOX ON THE RUN! MOHAWK-ENS CONTINUED
The fox would be me, me being all sly n stuff. As I hit send to post my LAST OF THE MOHAWK-ENS bulletin I start to dart for the door of the office. As I did so I ask PB "Did u see my last bullentin??" He said "The whiney Lexus one?" I said "Oh no, there's another one after that." He sees the panic on my face & knows he needs to check this out real fast before I get too far of a head start running.

As I close the door to the untility room that goes to the office I remembered that door locks from the inside!! What luck! I realize this as I hear shrieks of "OH! OH! OH!!" in disbelief. The eagle has landed he has found the bulletin.

He calls his friend as he starts to look for my bulletin and he shares it with him. I guess he gets side tracked reading it with his friend on the phone or he's so devastated by my betrayal... either way I decided to continue making dinner till I hear the door rattle.

Finally I hear the dreaded door rattle and PB demanding I unlock the door. Yea, right, like I'm that stupid! Time for me to make my demands! Remember I'm the one sly like a fox and have him locked out!! He's still on the phone as he demands I unlock the door. I said "No! Promise you won't hurt me??" Like that would ever happen. But I always go the Drama Queen route.

In the mean time his friend Jeremy is LHAO as PB is beggin me to open the door and I'm begging for my life. Too much? Too bad! I was waiting for an ax to come thru the door and him saying "Here's Johnny!" in a creepy Jack Nicholson sort of way. I really do have a flare for the dramatic arts don't I??

He promised he wasn't mad, swore that he wasn't mad so I opened the door with my 4 yr. old wiener dog as my body guard as insurance. He would love PB to death if he attacks.

Alls I know is I better be on my best behavior because I know he is going to get me back sooooo bad. And I do more tard stuff than he does!! I'm sure I'll be in a blog near you soon. So stay tuned to a blog near you....ie PB's blog.

BB
WW )0(

DAR-WINS AGAIN!

2006-11-18T19:49:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt from my book I thought I would share to give you a little insight into an average day with PB. Nothing is a run of the mill trip when you live with a medium! Unlike John Edward, who's wife says you couldn't tell he was a medium at home. Really?? Seriously? Her Psychic Boy doesn't talk to the bugs on the patio or the faires and leprechauns in the yard??? WOW!! Shocking! On to the book...

We were sitting at lunch, today and Psychic Boy does it again. I almost choked on the pizza I was eating. He is reading an article that he thought would be interesting, but after the second paragraph it took a turn for the worse. So he starts a rant on the idiocy of people. Ranting about how really glad he is that we home school, and not having to put Andrew, our son, through the nonsense that is the public school system.

He is getting more appalled as he is reading about how the different groups are arguing about Darwinism verses Intelligent Design and whether or not to teach one or the other in schools. He is rambling on about how this is wrong, they have, again, figured Darwin all wrong. How does he know this? I ask him and he says Im talking to Darwin now and were very upset! Why cant we just say that evolution works, and it was a very intelligent being who created the design. You create something to work on its own with little interference from the Universe, with a good set of rules. Thats right, he says it so nonchalantly like its a normal thing to be talking to /thee/ Darwin about his own theory of creation over lunch.

So I ask, Why does Darwin say they are doing this? He answers, still ranting, Its all politics. Whoever wants to be elected, you find out how many people have a particular belief, and you climb on that platform, blah, blah, blah.

Well he finally calmed down, but whenever he has an issue, being a medium, he generally goes right to the source. So at lunch today it was me, Psychic Boy, and /thee /Darwin. I need to start ordering in.

There you have it, we were out to lunch, ummm.... let me rephrase that, we were having lunch out, like the regular folk, an ordinary experience right? Usually. But not for me, I never know who is going to join us where ever we go. This is now the average, the norm, the run of the mill day for me. I've learned to expect the unexpected going out with PB. NEVER a dull moment!

You can read more stories like these in my new book "So, These Two Dead Guys Walk Into A Bar..." "My Life In The Paranormal. One Comic's Perspective." C'mon! You know you want to. Go to Amazon and read what people from around the world are saying about it! Really! I know people all around the world!! I really do! But order it from me! :-)

BB
WW )0(

CARD ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!

2006-11-18T19:48:00.000-08:00

Yes, the title is sung to the Brittany (money can't buy you class) Spears song "Hit Me Baby One More Time"..... so......m a n y .....j o k e s ....r u n n i n g...t h r u ...h e a d now ....ow..ow...FREAKING OUCH!! That's what happens when a comic gets a joke stuck......IT HURTS!

Anyhoo the real reason I am here is because.. drum roll pleeeeease...I GOT CARDED LAST WEEK! That's right! I ain't telling no lie! I got carded at the grocery store no less. I went to pick up some groceries and a bottle of wine, you know, it being Friday night and all. I had to use PB's check card so when I checked out and the clerk wanted to see ID I thought it was for the check card & was a little stunned ok scared as my ID DID NOT match the name on the card.

SO I questioned him, stalling for time "My ID?" Ok, not stalling for a lot of time. He said "Yes, I need to see ID." Sweating now, I was running thru my head the excuses I would use as to why I was using a card that didn't have my name on it when it dawned on me why he was really asking for my ID. So instead I just leaned over and frenched him. We're dating now. I kid, his mom wouldn't let me. :-)

So I've been carded twice in a month!! Not bad for a middle aged broad eh?? Just had to rub it....I mean share.

BB )0(
WW

FREE WINE AND PURDY FEET!

2006-11-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

I know it sounds like a title ripped from the pages of "Trailer Park Trash Digest" but OH NO! Contrare monfriar! This is indeed a tale of the highest caliber. Ok, ok, I even have to laugh at that one it's so absurd. Now on to the tale....

I have always been told that I have quite the purdy poogies i.e. family name for toes/feet, & if I do say so myself, my lower digits are indeed quite nice.:-)

I was invited to a girl's night out at a local cooking store. They serve dinner & copious quantities of wine, a never ending flow of the grape served by a young delicious hunk. Hubba Hubba! The theme for this event was a pajama party.

So I wear my Victoira Secret...wait, don't go & get all "That 70's Show" fantasy sequence on me. It's the VS casual wear that I was wearing. I went looking for my tiger head slippers. I could only find one at first. I found that the other one had been brutally murdered by my 7.5 lb weiner dog who then dragged his kill deep under my bed & it just wasn't worth the hassle to go in after it. RIP lil tiger head slipper. Same thing happened to my unicorn slippers too. They must look like badgers to him or something.

Sooooo instead I had to wear my sandals. Un-benounced to me they were having contests for this PJ party. Like, best slippers, I was regretting not going in after my weiner dog's kill then. But I think I would've lost to the Grinch slippers anyway. They had the cutest pj's ANNNND PURDIEST FEET!! Yes! I have a shot. SCORE! The young bitch with cute feet wasn't competing so I ran up there to show off the ole poogies! My tootsies aren't funky looking or nothing and I had them french manicured, I do it myself, & I have a total of 4 toe rings. I have to say they was a looking might fine on this night!

I have never won anything before, (wait that's a lie. I did help my team in Maui win the bronze metal when I took the human dart game. I jumped and velcroed myself to the bulls eye! YAY ME!) especially any kind of beauty contest. So this was HUGE for me to be competing in this category. I know a bit drama queenie but that's me. I only knew 2 other woman there, the ones I came with. I didn't know anyone else & some came in a large group so I figured they would vote for their friend.

But guess what????? They didn't!! I WON!! YIPPPEEEEEEE!! I WON! I WON! I WON! What did I win?? A bottle of very good wine. It was Australian which I normally don't like but this was good. Soooo fer having purdy poogies I got a free bottle of wine!! Life is good!!

BEDNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS

2006-11-18T19:43:00.000-08:00

Get a cup of tea or coffee or a martini cause this one is going to be a long one. You may wonder why I called this Bed Nobs and Broomsticks. (Yes I know the obvious jokes here with the whole bed and nob thang. Let it go) It was the only title I could think of for the handfasting of my daughter. For you muggles out there, at a Handfasting the couple jump the broom.

It's mind blowing! There are so many emotions when you see your baby girl get married. It really is overwhelming. I was on the verge of tears CONSTANTLY for days! So was Ed's (the groom) sister, Emily, and Ed too for that matter. I told Emily, "Why is this so emotional?? They've lived together now for a few months, what's the difference?" I guess now her brother will be a HUSBAND *echo echo* not just a brother anymore and Elatia will be....will be.... Oh No!!...tears are a starting....will be....crap! here comes the snotters now too!!!....will be a WIFE! *echo echo* Gotta take a moment to clean myself up now. Hold on..............

When I saw Elatia hug Ed good night the night before the wedding, it hit me that she will turn to him first now and he will be number 1 in her life....(fighting back tears and snotters again)......as it should be. But it's hard to let go. I know she will still need me but it's not the same so it takes time for the new chapter in our lives to settle in & get use to having my daughter becoming a wife and me a.....a......a.....choking now....and me becoming a.....MOTHER IN LAW!! *deep evil echo echo*

The night before the wedding we had a "girls night in" in the honeymoon suite. There was 8 of us. My daughter and her bride's maids & me and my sisters, The Karens from Ca. and my cuz from Belfast. We were the Crones and they were the maidens. I had us all toast each person and say why and how they have been a blessing in our life. Welll needless to say we got into the ugly crying!!

It was very special, beautiful & tender. We laughed, we cried, we did some table top dancing! Each of the younger ones knew which one of the older ones they were most like. It was a definite Ya Ya Sisterhood moment!

What an amazing time the handfasting was!! It was sacred, it was emotional, it was beautiful, it was exciting, it was exhausting, it was indescribable!! (although I just described it didn't I??)

I was an emotional wreck the Friday before the handfasting! I was at the grocery store BY MYSELF!! which I learned I could not be anywhere by myself that day!! I was proudly wearing my "Mother of the Bride" t-shirt & was in the grocery store when I kept seeing mothers with their LITTLE girls. I started to cry, not the ugly cry thank Goddess but I had to put the sunglasses on. Then I told myself to suck it up & called my sister, Karen M, and said I can't be left alone!! Why am I out alone Dammit!?? I wanted to go up to these mothers and say "See this shirt I'm wearing???? You'll be wearing it tomorrow it will feel like!!"

My daughter's bride's maids made her a scrap album from the important women in her life. Yes I was one. They gave me 2 pages I did 5! I put in pics of me pregnant with her, her baby pics and then the 80's pics of me and her with our aerobics and dance days. Her friends put in their favorite times with her. She absolutley loved it. It was a beautiful gift. She has some wonderful and beautiful friends.

On Sat. BEFORE the make up I gave her the letter I wrote on Oct. 9th 1981 around her Christening Day talking about her wedding day. Like how "On your Christening day Daddy held you on the alter and today he walking you to it. On your Christening Day we had to smear cake on your lips, today your husband will feed you your cake." ect. I was only 20 when I wrote that letter 25 yrs. ago. After she read the letter we held each other and did one more ugly cry as "The Karens" were ironing her wedding dress across from us.

Surprisingly enough me and Ed, the groom, held it together during the ceremony!! He said because I held it together he was able to. I said the same to him. It was such a beautiful and tender ceremony. Everybody was blown away by it. No one knew that we were doing a handfasting except the people involved.

The reception was a blast! I danced with everyone. PB danced the daughter/father dance to John Mayer's song I believe it's called "Daughters" What a beautiful moment. The dinner was superb! Filet mignon AND mahi mahi. I was making sure nothing was going to waste and took home whatever my son, PB, my parents, or anyone else for that matter, didn't eat. I mean c'mon! Over $80 a plate nothing's going to waste! I had to sign a waiver for it too.

Ed just adores my daughter. Bless his heart he was shaking so bad!! He could hardly hold the chalice and drink the water. The candle part was a bit un-nerving. They are so happy!! My daughter was absolutely radiant! She smiled the whole day for pics and never complained. She stayed in her dress the entire time & looked beautiful all thru the wee hours of the morning. Actually, I've never seen her look bad.

Several of us took turns getting their room ready for them to change after the reception. Rose petals from the door up the spiral staircase on the bed with her silk robe and then candles placed around.

We were by the pool and awhile later they came out on the balcony & shouted down to us so we all went up to continue the party. We were up till 4 a.m. So I am STILL recoverying and have a wedding hangover a week later!

THE HEAVENS WILL OPEN AND THE ANGELS WILL SING

2006-11-18T19:42:00.000-08:00

Is what I told my daughter when we went wedding dress shopping. I told her she will know "THE ONE" dress because the Heaven's will open and you will hear the Angels singing. That's the only way you can get the right dress. It's in the bridal manual somewhere.

So me, Elatia (see previous post for pronunciation of name) and her maid of honor and soon (6 days) to be sis in law, Emily, all went dress shopping in Tampa. It was easy enough, got waited on quickly. Elatia starts coming out in these beautiful dresses and I'm like "Yea, that's nice." After a few dresses I think "What the hell is the matter with me??!!!" "Your first born is trying on WEDDING dresses and all you can say is Oh that's nice!! You cold hearted BITCH!!"

I mean, I wasn't feeling much of anything. I was really upset with myself on how I could be so emotionless! Really!! What's the matter with me??? All this is going on in my head as Elatia is trying on dresses. I probably looked crazy. Then it happens......

She comes out in another dress and out of the blue I start balling my eyes out! I guess the Heavens opening and the Angels singing is really the mother crying (it sounds better the other way). Which got Emily crying. Yup! It was a moment indeed, tears & Kleenex flying. Elatia then said "I guess this is the dress then huh??" I'm like "Ahhhhhh YEA!!" You can't go against the Mommy tears.

PB and I are doing the handfasting ceremony & we were going to both have speaking parts. LOL LOL LOL Really?? Me try and talk & do the ceremony too??? What were we thinking??!! Now that is funny! I'm trying to figure where I can hide the Kleenex on me. We realized that that was a HUGE mistake & I won't be talking just helping with alter stuff. Ya know like holding down the chicken for sacrificing.....that's for any of you muggles that believe the stereotypes of Witches. LOL

So my daughter found the perfect dress & she will have the perfect day & she will have the wonderful life she has created for herself & Ed. I am blessed!

OMG! IT'S THE FINAL COUNT DOWN!!

2006-11-18T19:40:00.000-08:00

No! Not to world damnation as the Chrisitans would have you believe. Geez! I've been hearing that one since I was a kid! Enough already!

OMG! Six more sleeps and I'll be a mother in law *echo echo* I haven't had any classes yet on how to be a proper mother in-law. Ya know, like how to be all nosey, a buttinsky and opinionated like (ok, some might say I have the latter down pat but they lie! Lie I tell ya!)

My daughter is getting married Nov. 11 a great manifesting date, yes, I did pick it, BUTT my daughter agreed to it. I didn't force it, I just merely suggested the date.

When she got engaged 17 months ago, which seemed like an eternity, we went right to work on booking everything. I was so proud of myself. I wasn't butting in, I was all well behaved....until the cake incident that is. We went for a cake tasting and were looking at styles. Ed, the groom, was there being all guy like and agreeing to whatever we said. Good groom! I was so proud of myself because I wasn't pushing what I wanted on my daughter. I couldn't understand why these mother's couldn't control themselves and let their daughters' have the wedding they wanted. What's the matter with them?? I was about to find out!

I showed my daughter, Elatia, (long E, long A, and sha at the end) the tiny peals on a cake. She liked them. When the cake lady came out and we started showing her what we...I mean they liked she showed us another kind of pearl design & without even thinking I said "NO! WE don't want that! WE want these tiny pearls!" I gasp and sat back when I realized what I had done. I was turning into a MOMZILLA!!! It just sorta happened. You don't see it coming! You get so into the planning you forget who you're planning it for.

So I knew I would have to back off so I wouldn't get over bearing about it. I told my daughter I would help but would keep my distance. Well, sometime later she called and really needed help with the hotel and other stuff. I warned her...."You know you're inviting the vampire in now right?? I'm not responsible if I go over board." She knew the risk & took it anyway. :-)

Now here we are 6 days away from the magickal day! PB and I have picked the music for the ceremony, I have people calling me for the final arrangements for the day & we've had no arguements! She wasn't a Bridezilla and I wasn't a Momzilla.

Now I get reflect on the last 25 yrs of our lives. How fast they went by. How it seems like yesterday I was taking her to kindergarten. How she use to be shorter than me. How we use to be able to fit in a tub together. How she has gotten older but I have not. :-) I wrote her a letter when she was 13 weeks old around her Christening time for her wedding day & now it's time to give it to her. I just can't believe it. I will give it to her BEFORE the make up goes on. The date of the letter was Oct. 9, 1981.

Now that everything is set, all the emotions come up. You realize how fast your life goes by and how you need to cherish every second of it. Especially when you have kids. It goes by in a blink of an eye. I know it doesn't seem like it when you're up in the middle of the night so tired feeding them or having a poop diaper at the most inconvenient time, or vomit on your clean blouse, or the crying (mainly you) that won't stop & you begin to think they hate you or having to meet with their principal dressed like a leprechaun on crack about their bad behavior on the bus (or was that just me). I promise you it's all worth every milisecond! Before you know it instead of teaching them how to tie their shoes you will be helping them with their wedding shoes & dress, and china pattern, and helping them pick out their own child's nursery stuff.

Believe me, there were times I didn't think my daughter was going to make it out of her teen years. But we both survived & so will you. Just love them with all your heart and enjoy every moment.

Abundant Blessings,
WW

CHRISTIANS, DEMONS, GOBLINS..OH MY!!

2006-11-05T19:11:00.000-08:00

It's that time if year more than any others, my prettys, to have a rant.

So for any of you normal & not left wing or right wing or whatever wing they call it, Christians, this is not meant towards you. But if you believe Witch's worship the devil, if you are ALWAYS talking about satan and fearing he is lurking around every corner ready to steal your soul, (what better way to keep people in fear & control them!), (remember! what u focus on u create my pretties!) believe that Gays are going to hell, ect ect blah blah then this is definitely meant towards YOU!

I am so tired of Christians who have no problem stealing and celebrating the Pagan holidays, like Christmas, (Yule) Easter,(Esotre) Halloween (Samhain), and then blame satan on us!!

Satan is totally a Christian made up deity to keep people in fear and out of their own power! That's why Bush is such a great Christian, he works from fear! And I'm tired of Christians blaming us for him! Satan not Bush. They steal our cool holidays and give us satan in return?? Hardly seems fair.

Do you want to know what the Pagan/Witch holiday Samhain really means?? It is the festival of the final harvest of the year and honoring the dead. Ooooooo scary stuff huh?? It's funny to see churches now tout the "Halloween alternative"....Harvest Festival!! Hellloooooo!! That's what the Witches celebrate num nut!!

Here is an article I found on paganwiccan.about.com This will explain in detail what Halloween really is & isn't. I think you should be informed......

Don't let common stereotypes about this holiday fool you.

To most people, Halloween is a fun holiday to dress up and eat candy. Well, even Pagans like to eat candy on Halloween, but we consider it to be a very important holiday in a more spiritual sense as well.
The proper name for the occassion is Samhain (pronounced Sow-en or Sow-een). It's sometimes referred to as the Witches New Year, because our religious year starts/ends with Samhain. The holiday began being called "Halloween" because the Catholic church created All Saints Day (or All Hallows Day) on November 1st, in an attempt to turn people away from the original Pagan holiday. The night before became known as "All Hallows Eve", which then got shortened up to Halloween.

If you are concerned about the Pagan nature of October 31st, then you should probably stop celebrating Christmas and Easter, too. (Tell them sistah!)

Though those holidays have been thoroughly adopted by the Christian religion, they were both originally Pagan celebrations (Yule and Ostara). Halloween is the only holiday that has kept most of its Pagan meanings, without the Christian overtones.
Many fundamentalist Christian groups stand against the celebration of Halloween because they feel it is associated with demons and Satan. Unfortunately, most (if not all) of their 'facts' are incorrect. (DUH! YA THINK??)

The most common error, is that Halloween is celebrated to honour the Celtic God of the Dead, Samhain. The Celts had no such God. The word "Samhain" more likely came from "samhuinn", which is the Gaelic word for "summer's end". A fitting name, since that is precisely what this holiday is celebrating.
There is nothing Satanic about Halloween, either in modern times, or in the early history of the festival. Of course, there is nothing Satanic about any aspects of Wicca, witchcraft or Paganism, but that's another story altogether. We don't celebrate black masses, conduct sacrifices or cast hexes on Halloween (or any other day!)

So now you know what Halloween isn't, but what does Halloween mean? Well, to Pagans who celebrate Samhain, it is the third and last of the year's harvest festivals. The crops are in, and it's time to relax and prepare for the long winter ahead. Samhain is a time to reflect on the events of the past year, and to remember those who have passed away. It's at this time of the year that spirits travel from this world to the next. Both good and evil spirits.

Part of the mythology of the holiday is that the God dies at Samhain, and the Goddess mourns Him until His rebirth at Yule. (Hmmmm coincidence Christ was born then too?? I think not!) It is Her mourning that brings about the shorter, cold days of winter. After His birth at Yule, the days begin to get longer again.

Many of the symbols and traditions that we see around Halloween today can be traced to earlier times. Carving of jack-o-lanterns probably started with turnips rather than pumpkins, but the idea is the same either way.
With the spirits of the dead travelling on this day, people would carve faces into turnips (or gourds or whatever) in order to scare away any evil spirits. The dressing up in costumes was also done to scare off bad spirits.

The idea of playing tricks was not done maliciously, but just as a way of having a bit of fun before the long dark winter settled in. The original gathering of treats was done to provide offerings to the Gods, in thanks for the harvest.

One last word. Many fundamentalist Christian groups have a strong negative bias towards any religion that is different from their own. Please keep this in mind when reading their websites for more 'truth' about Halloween.

I think that says it all. So Christians remember, satan is YOUR deal, NOT ours so quit trying to push him off on us!!

End of rant.

I LEFT MY ICK IN THE DON CE-SAR!

2006-07-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

I LEFT MY ICK AT THE DON CE-SAR!
Current mood: exanimate
Category: Blogging

That title should be sung to the tune of "I left My Heart in SF." Also I put my mood as exanimate to sound smart. Even tho I haven't the foggiest clue what it means....& neither does Mensa smart Psychic Boy, so there!

Anyhoo...friends took us to St. Pete Beach last Sunday to drum up some shows at some metaphysical stores, which was very successful I might add. But that's for another entry. This is what you have to do when you have no manager, or agent or personnal asst. or publicist or whatever the hell else these successful comedians have. *stop, breathe, release* Ok I'm fine now..rage subdued..for the moment. When you're on the Z list you gotta do everything your self! Screw you Kathy Griffin and your D-List!! baa waa baa waa poor you having to live in that friggin huge house and drive a mercedes, stay at 5 star hotels and meet big stars! Boo frickidy hoo! *ok rage back again...stop, breathe, release take pins outta Kathy doll* PHEW! That was close. May need the little white pills next time.

Where was I???....oh yea, St. Pete. So on the way back from seeing the metaphysical stores we stopped off at the haunted Don Ce-Sar hotel. A huge pink hotel built in the 1920's. We'd thought it'd be fun to see what Psychic Boy would pick up. We were not let down! He met the owner Thomas Rowe himself who's been dead a long time. We were in a gift store and Martin says aloud, "I'm walking thru a fire! It's hot!" I'm like "Yea, yea, look at these cool shoes over here." I was able to validate some of the stuff he was getting by reading a book they had for sale about the hotel. But not the fire. Did get the shoes.

We sat in the gorgeous lobby while waiting for one of our famous summer monsoons to pass (It beats a friggin hurricane anyday). I sat there in awe of the beautiful hotel as this was the caliber of hotel I was use to staying in. I breathed in it's beauty, it's LIVE flowers, it's REAL lobby, the very air by the concierge desk (They look like they were going to call security) screaming on the inside "I'M HOME!!!" & as I did this I realized I had just dumped my Motel 6 ick there that was still on me!!

I felt FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST!! THANK GOD I'M FREE AT LAST OF THAT MOTEL 6 ICK!!! Thank you Don Ce-Sar hotel!!

Blessed Be! )0(
WW

SIGN HERE update

2006-07-20T20:13:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't written about my "book signing" because of writer's cramp. YEA! WHATEVER!! Like that's the reason! I was lying in fetal position, sucking my thumb in a puddle of my own snotters & tears screaming out "WHY LORD?? WHY NOT ME???"...... Too much???

How many showed up for my book signing I hear you ask? Well....drum roll pleeeeease.....ABOSOLUTLEY NO ONE!! NADA! NO BODY!! How sad am I? I can't get even get one person to come in for a book signing! BAAAWAAAA!

Don't these people know who I'm gonna be dammit!!?? You gotta love that home town lovin feelin huh?? The only people that showed up were the ones that were already there when we arrived. None of which were there for the book signing!! Not one more person came in. Martin did 5 readings and sold a few of HIS cd's. But me?? NADA, NOTHING ZIPPO!!

So my hand lives yet another day, to one day do countless book signings.

Blessed Be! )0(
WW

BATES MOTEL HELL

2006-07-20T20:12:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Cleveland Ohio on Monday. While it was a great trip and did a great show with great people, I was reminded of how far down the comedy food chain I really am.

Got tired of the damp, clamy, smelly Bates Motel Hell. I believe others may know it as the illustrious Motel 6. Yup! That's what happens when ur still trying to make a name for ur self in comedy, you'll go and stay at any dive you can barely afford to do your gig &....nothing but the lowest hotels will do. I was shocked that not only was there no concierge nor room service or pool or lobby, don't even get me started on the so called "lobby." It stunk so bad! It smelled like a bar on the docks where the hookers hung out....not that I know first hand about those kinds of bars... but I heard things. But no shampoo or conditioner or even a DO NOT DISTURB SIGN to hang on the paint peeling door!! That's just crossing the line of decency I tell ya!!. HELLLLOOOOO! Alone with the hubby!! NEED THE SIGN!! You had to write it on a piece of paper (which they did not supply) and your own pen because of course they did not supply that either!!! Then stick it in the door. SHOCKING! I know! There was nothing worth stealing there either! But we did have a great view of the Holiday Inn Select. Lucky for us huh?? We got a reminder everytime we looked out the window how far down the food chain we really are.

Ahhhh there's nothing like sleeping in a damp clamy bed or putting on damp clamy clothes in the morning or having your beautiful straight hair go back to it's natural full, frizzy, creepy state. What a great & wonderful feeling to have everything you touch feel icky.

The only thing missing was a young creepy guy always talking about his mother.

Yup! It made me want to light some candles, burn some nag, watch re-runs of Charmed (it was like always on up there) indulge in the cornucopia of sweets from the gas station we'd walk to & cut myself while sobbing...well either that or have hot monkey jungle love with the hubby ......Can't wait to do it again!

Blessed Be! )0(
WW

SIGN HERE, HERE, & HERE

2006-07-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

Well, that's what I hope to hear today at my book signing at Endora's Emporium. It's Sarasota, it's Pagans, it's a long shot. I mean with Pagans being VERY PC....poverty conscious, it is a long shot. I guess all great authors and comediennes started out this way. So unappreciated. So unrecognized. So woe is me...*big sigh*

Alright enough of the starving artist crap! Hey I got a book signing today!! Woo Hoo!! I get to get out of the house today & meet my adoring fans!! (too much?) Not much to write right now but will later on.

I have another post I NEED to get off my chest and that will come later as well. I hope my nails can hold up on the computer as I feverishly and angrily type my little heart or brick, as it is sometimes called, out!

So stay tuned kiddies for the next installment of, let me think......as the cauldron burns.

BB
WW

ABOUT LAST NIGHT

2006-06-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

About Last Night
Current mood: ecstatic
Category: Blogging

OK, so it 's really not about last night cause I was too lazy to write when it would've been about the last night I'm talking about. So it's about the night before last night but that would just sound stupid.

Hmmmm I wonder if these will look right, off on another digression. (note to self, must see Dr. about ADD meds) I hit the enter key and it looks like there is going to be a space & not run together. Hope it does or I will have to cut somebody!

Anyways...I did my open mic the night before last at Martini Blue's (which will be known as MB's from here on out) & I have to say it was a great time. It's been awhile since I've performed in a muggle club or have done an open mic, so I was nervous. When I got there, I saw that it was going to be one of those open mics where it's mostly comics in the audience & not a real audience. That's because comics don't pay attention to who's on stage, they are working on their own material. I wasn't nervous anymore because I knew they wouldn't be paying attention anyways. Not to mention I usually come with my own audience and this time was no different, I had my peeps with me, I knew they would laugh.

Well, I got a great response even from the other comedians! Shocking! They were very nice to me I met some really cool people.Well, they are usually nice to me here in Ca. But in Fla.?? Not so much. I'm not in the inner cirlce in Fla. I'm like "Hey!! I cast circles people!! What do u mean I'm not in the inner circle!!" I guess they think I may actually turn them into a toad...ok, they may be right. So I dropped out of the comedy scene in Fla. as not to be tempted to toad anyone.

After my set, Bill Word, who runs the comedy at MB's said to me that I was in the next Ca.'s Funiest Female Contest if I wanted!! OMG!! I was shocked!! I've gotten turned down 2 yrs. in a row to compete in that. Now I'm being invited???!! WAAAAY FREAKIN KEWL!! Man! I need to move out here!! Someone buy my freakin house already!!

Now of course me being Witchy Woman you know the night wouldn't end there. Even tho my friends are early birds, I am not, especially after a show. I was wired when we got home so me and Psychic Boy sat out in our friends patio while she passed out, way past her bedtime. She has woods behind her place & I'm diggin the cool weather while I can before I go back to hell that they call Fla. Anyhoo as I was sitting there, a coyote walks by, stops, looks me right in the eye, then I moved, he moved, we scared each other and he ran away before I could. I didn't know if coyote's eat people, or attack or anything so he scared me. Coyote is one of my power animals with my comedy. So I took that as a sign that I am doing all the right things and more opps. are coming my way. I hope I get to see him again before I leave. I won't be afraid next time now that I know they don't attack and eat people.

Just another average day in a comic Witch's life.

Blessed Be!

W.W.

WIFE SWAP!!....

2006-06-13T20:40:00.000-07:00

Alright, get your mind outta the gutter! This isn't the keys in the bowl wife swap!....unless you want it to be....no..stop it....it isn't! I mean, it's not the 70's for chrissakes! Well, unless you're Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! In that case let the keys fly!! I'll do ya both!! Now see what you've done you've got me in the gutter! And by you I of course mean me since I'm the only one here. I'm always the only one here. *big sigh* sad moment. Unbelievable since I come up on the first page of yahoo and google. No, really I do! Type in metaphysical comedienne or metaphysical comedy or witchy woman comedienne. You'll see!

Ok, now onto why I originally started this. As I may or may not have mentioned before we were chosen for ABC's Wife Swap. Yes, we are the chosen ones even tho we are not Jewish.....or Jehova's Witnesses (they think they're chosen too...right? They really are delusional aren't they??) We were chosen back in Nov. and it is now...looking at watch...like that's gonna help....looking at calendar now....7 MONTHS later!! Still no word on a swap yet, only that we are still on the board. They are hoping to find a family for us to get us on the 3rd season. Are we that hard to match up??

When my cousin in Belfast heard we were going to be on she said to me "OH NO!! You don't want to be on that show!! We make fun of the people on that show!!" I replied "So do we!!" and we do. Every week I watch the show & I say "What have I done??"

I don't think we're weird enough for the show but my friends assure me that we indeed we are! Hmm what do you think they mean by that?? They're weird too and dysfunctional!! You mean to tell me that not everybody acknowledges the faires or have a leprechaun in their yard?? Or have dead people hanging around? Or have a husband that talks to Darwin when out to lunch.?? The last 3 words says a lot! Or when your son is asked how his night was and he says "Good. Mom told some jokes about dead people then Dad talked to them...ya know the usual!" That's not normal?????

I've seen the Wiccan family on there and I thought they were waaaay weird! None of the Witches I know behave like that. I know we are weird but we are not dysfunctional. We spend time with our kids and each other. We have balance. I'm not a city girl and I'm not a country girl either. I'm middle of the road. I like living in a town that isn't too big but not so small that everyone knows your biz.

When the producer Allison came out to the house she interviews us individually. I tried to listen in when she interviewed my daughter, don't trust the girl! They caught me. DAMMIT! Foiled again! When they came out I asked my daughter "you didn't tell her....." My daughter says "No" Then Allison says "The Farm?" I said "YOU BITCH!! You didn't!" My daughter so loving said that she would love to see me on a farm! She wants to see cow poo under my well manicured nails!! See I told you... "BITCH!!" Pure evil that child!! I'll miss her when she mysteriously goes missing. *evil grin* & *evil laugh* to go with evil grin.

Allison then asks me what would be my nightmare swap. Do I look retarded?? Don't answer that! SO I think and say, umm well, someone who is rich, has servants, shops all the time, has a driver, has well behaved kids, has a hot hubby ect. That would be HORRIBLE! I swear! She wasn't having it. I guess I didn't lie well. The well behaved kids gave it away didn't it?? DAMMIT! Sooooo close! (Ok just let me have my delusion!)

OH yea! Like I'm going to say what my REAL nightmare is. Like I would tell them that a gun toting, squirrel eating, rebel flag flying, Bible thumping, Bush loving republican would be my ultimate nightmare. No one is that stupid!! Well, some might be but I'm not!! I ain't killing my own dinner!! I don't do road kill either!! And a Bush supporter?? R U Kidding me?? I just couldn't handle that kind of stupidity!!

So here we are, on the board of Wife Swap, waiting for the word. Why am doing it?? Helllo I'm not stupid! It's a great advertising tool "The dynamic duo as seen on Wife Swap!" Don't you think people will want to come out to our comedy shows and see the retards who went on Wife Swap?? Don't you think they will want to see for themselves if I'm as big a spaz as I appeared to be on the show?? I'm betting they will.

I'll keep ya posted!
Stay Tuned to see when the Wife Swaps!

BB
WW

I DREAM OF RANJINI!

2006-06-09T19:19:00.000-07:00

Ok I really don't but I needed a catchy title and that was it. What do you want from me I am on an antihistamine high! My eyes are so itchy I want to scoop them out and scratch the hell out of them, brush them, then roll them on a rough surface!! But that's not why I'm here....

I realized that I never wrote about my Milton Keynes show! I talked about it before we left and I really should read what I wrote about it previously but I'm not, too lazy. Anyway, Ranjini, my friend who put this show togther for me did an amazng job! It was OVER BOOKED! Ok, so it's not like it was a 500 seater that was over booked. Alright, not even a 100 or 50. Fine! It was a 25 seater which is good for me. (it beats 10!!) We had like 29 people squished in the room. A fire hazard perhaps but I wasn't turning down a paying body!! It's England, do they even have a fire marshall Bill?? I was comfortable and that's all that really matters... right??

The audience was mostly if not all psychics coming to check us out. I think they were pleasantly surprised not only by my act that they could sooo relate to but how accurate Martin was. Everyone was really laughing and having a good time except for this one putz! There's ALWAYS one isn't there?? He sat with his arms folded and didn't crack a smile. I saw the corners of his mouth wanting to smile but he was fighting it like it was a good or evil thing. What's up with those people?? I didn't let it stop me! Although I did want to smack him up beside the head!

I taped it and couldn't wait to see it because I felt I did my material really well. But of course when I played it back the sound was off. A bunch of psychics and electronic equipment squished in a room just don't mix! I did a book signing afterwards and I was feeling all famous like. It felt cool. Some people drove hours to get there and I can't get people to drive 10 mins. to a gig here!! I was really honored that people would drive that far to come out to see us. I hadn't even met these people before.

I had to reword some of my material because they are not familiar with some our expressions. Like they didn't know who Mr. Rogers was. Ok he's not an expression but a personality. Quit nit picking...unless you personally have nits & then why are you reading this and not picking your own nits!? OMG! The antihistamines are really kicking in now! They didn't know what Sweet and Low was. REALLY! They didn't know. Who knew?? Almost lost a good joke with that one but I recovered.

So yes, Ranjini did a dream job for us and I greatly appreciate it! Hence the title.

Off to go and scratch my eyes balls out now!

Blessed be!
WW

WORD UP!...AGAIN!

2006-06-07T20:57:00.000-07:00

Now check this out! This IS irony at it's best. I get on myspace.com to see how many more friends I have gotten thru the night. It's like Christmas, (or should I say Yule, to be a good Witch) every morning! It's a quest of mine to get a butt load of friends on my list. Now don't get me wrong I am picky. I don't just ask anybody. They have to be comedians or metaphysical. I did deny the porno stalker dude! I guess I want a lot of friends to help me feel all improtant or famous or somethin. I dunno why, it passes the time ok?? Sure, I could cook or clean or interact with the family but....why??

Anyways I had a message! WOW! Not only new friends but a message from a friend! Could this a.m. get any better?? Ahh Yea!! The message was from Bill Word offering me stage time when I'm out in S. Ca. next week! R U kiddin me with this?? I sooooo did not see that one coming! I mean me being psychic and all. I haven't perfomed in a comedy club in a yr. and a half! I've only done metaphysical venues.

So of course I said sure and now I'm freakin out! Don't know why since I do well in clubs in S. Ca. They all see dead people out there, it's old hat. My last 6 weeks I performed in clubs in Fla. SUCKED! And that left a mark! Hence the year and a half. So the guy that turned me down twice to compete in his contests has now offered me stage time at his open mic!! Irony at it's best?? I think so! OK I'm not getting paid like I do now with my full shows. But an opportunity is an opportunity!! And I think that is pretty cool!

Blessed Be!
WW

WORD UP!

2006-06-06T21:21:00.000-07:00

Talk about irony at it's best?? Well, maybe not at it's best, but pretty darn close!

I had a friend's request on myspace.com. I knew I recognized the name but not sure where....at first. Then it dawned on me & got it confirmed when I went to his page. His name is Bill Word and he produces a lot of comedy contests at Martinit Blue's in Huntington Beach. My point???? I'm getting to it! Keep your panties on amigo!

One contest in particular, Ca. Funniest Female Contest, I entered 2 years in a row and both those times.....I WAS TURNED DOWN!! WTF Now he wants to be my friend????? Well of course I said hell yeah!! I need all the friends I can get!! Well just short of that one porn crazed stalker I had to deny that is!

I actually thought that it was pretty cool that he, Bill, not the porno stalker, asked me to be his friend. So I'm going to be in town next weekend for the finals of this contest and I'm going. I will also get to meet the guy Bill Word, who doesn't appreciate my brand of comedy. Good times, Good times. A toading may insue but I'm making no promises. I like to toad closer to home. If you don't know what I mean. READ MY BOOK DAMMIT!! At least the back of it! Geez or even my website for crying out loud!

Blessed Be!
WW

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE!

2006-06-05T20:26:00.000-07:00

I was the guest speaker for one of Michele Blood's success calls! I was so honored she asked me! I mean I haven't really accomplished much yet so I was surprised when she asked me to be the guest speaker. I know I have a book out and a perfume, and let's not forget a sold out show in Palm Springs, Ca.!!! But I'm not a best selling author yet, give me a few weeks, my perfume is only in one store in Ohio. But it is also with a big time celebrity, well almost, it's in their office waiting for their return from shooting. The assistant got back to me thanking me for sending it. As you can tell I'm not giving away any secrets on this one yet.

OK, maybe I can see why Michele asked me to be on the call. I have a lot of good things in the works. YAY Me!!! She sees where I'm going with all this! The call was great so I thought anyway. I may have scared a few with my fairy talk. If so, oh well. It doesn't negate the fact that fairies do exist!

Blessed Be!
WW

SOLD OUT!!

2006-06-05T19:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, before you go and get all excited, and by "you" I of course mean me. As I am the only one writing/reading this tripe.

My show in Palm Springs is sold out! Which is great! I'm not ungrateful or anything, but the unfortunate part is that the place only holds 10 people!! That's right 10! TEN! DIAZ! (however u spell it. My spell check doesn't do spanish. DAMMIT) I said 10! No matter how many ways I write it, it still is just 10. No more zeros after it, only one. How sad if I couldn't sell out a 10 seat crowd?? I'd have to hang up my comedy broom! But I did so I don't. Witchy Woman gets to fly another day!

Ten is a tough crowd even for the seasoned pro....which I am not...yet..almost. I have to work that much harder. I will have to be really animated, I know, a huge stretch for me...c'mon it is!! Alright! Maybe not a huge one. A great crowd is 20 or more. It's really great then.

I've done performances infront of 250 just not my full show, only 5 min. open mic. And let me tell ya, I'd rather have 25 that get it than 250 that don't!! Do You even know how crappy it is to have 250 people with blank stares then fear like they're sorry they left their garlic necklace and wooden stake at home?? And then you have to walk outta there with your coffin guitar case for your broom & try and act normal hoping there's no angry villagers with torches in the parking lot?? Yup! That was my life in the comedy clubs in the bible belt folks. Don't get me wrong, having 250 that DO get it would be awesome and I had only one night like that. I'd like to repeat it again! I wouldn't turn down a crowd of thousands either....for an audience not angry villagers w/torches! I want to make myself clear on that one!

My show in Laguna Hills could hold 60-70 (How cool would that be to have that be sold out!!??) but I don't know if Brandon is doing his thing and promoting it like he should. For what he is makin on it he should!! I love Brandon but he needs a good kick in the back side as far as marketing is concerned. And my friend Karen Curry is just the person to do it!! She's kicking ours. Go Karen! Go Karen! Go Karen! It's not your birthday! Kick his bootay!! Hey that was pretty good! I really should get into song writing!! But I really need to stay focused on one career at a time. Note to self, take song writing class...wait...no...teach song writing class! I would kick ass! Look I rhymed again! Is there no end to my talent??......don't answer that! Remember I am a legend in my own mind!

Blessed be!
WW

ALMOST FAMOUS!! YEA BABY!

2006-06-04T11:12:00.002-07:00

May 5, 2006

When I was in Seaford England, I went into the metaphysical store to browse and visualize walking into a store like this and seeing my book there when the cashier says "Connie Jordan!" HUH??? That was quick! LOL LOL What the....who the...how the...R U kidding me with this?? Then it twigged with me where she might know me from. I staffed for Doreen Virtue for a few years and sure enough that's where she knew me, the Ireland ATP class. But it was still cool to get recognized in a foreign country in a sleepy lil seaside town. I left them my book and they should be ordering some soon!

So now I've been recognized in an Office Max, a dark parking lot, and now Seaford England!! Wooo Hooo I'm on my way people!!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

DEAD MAN RIDING!!

2006-06-04T11:12:00.000-07:00

May 2 2006

Funny thing....ok maybe not funny, but when we tell it, it is. A guy was dead in the toilet on the train across from me on the way to Seaford England!! EEEWWWWWWWW! I'd jiggle the door and it was locked, no one came out. I thought just my luck, we finally get a toilet on a train and it doesn't work! DAMMIT!! People kept trying to get in but I told them it was locked and no one has come out. Martin was sittin in his usual outta body state of mind wondering, "Hmmm wouldn't it be funny if someone died in there??!" REALLY??? FUNNY?? OK, maybe it is. We didn't find out till we got off the train in Brighton to get on yet another freakin train and they announced it on the PA. "A fatality was on the train, from where ever we just came from, and it wasn't going any further." YA THINK???

But does the story end there?? I think not. It's us. How could it! The dead guy followed Martin on to the next train!! That's right! Dead people follow my husband every where we go! The dead guy's name was Edward. He thought he was having indigestion so he went into the toilet to catch his breath and.....well I guess he didn't judging by the results. His artery exploded and away he went. He didn't know where he was & was a bit dazed and confused. Ya know how it is when you drop dead in a public toilet on a train...right?? You lose all bearings I guess. So Martin guided him. Martin asked him if he saw a white light & he said he did but was afraid to go to it because he didn't know what it was. Really?? That's basic crossing over 101 stuff. Didn't anybody watch Crosssing Over or Ghost??? Martin was Mr. Ghost Whisperer on that day. He told Edward to go into the Light & he would be fine & he did. Just an average day with Psychic Boy! I defintely feel another book
coming on!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

JANE!! Get me off this thing!!

2006-06-04T10:45:00.000-07:00

These are stories that happened while on my trip to and from Seaford England. This one happened on the way back. The next one happened on the way there. Don't ask me why I put them in this order....THEY JUST ARE! DEAL WITH IT!

May 7th 2006
Got back from Seaford today. Only a 4 hour, 5 train switch ride baaa waaa! We're back at my sis in law's AnneMarie's in Milton Keynes England. The train back today got scary for me when I get on the train and before Marts, Andrew and Ranjini could get on it takes freakin off with only me on it!! They give you like 30 SECONDS to get on the damned train! I'm looking out the window at them like WTF! As I plant my face firmly on the window thinking this will somehow stop the train I see them disappear into the distance.

OMG!!! I'm freakin out! I was like George Jetson, "JANE! GET me off this thing!!" I didn't know where I was going. What I should or could do. I was ready to get in fetal position, suck my thumb and just cry. I didn't have Martin's cell # or AnnMarie's. I asked where it was going and someone said Wembly!! (as in the stadium!) NOT where I needed to go, I CAN'T go to Wembly!! You're lieing BITCH! They just looked at me like I was nuts.

FInally a woman who spoke very little English (because the 2 that did were no freakin help!! Damned English!!) took pity on me & told me to get off at the next stop and get on the next train back. I was hoping it would be in plenty of time to get on the train with Marts, Muck And Ranjini. I was shittin myself!! I'm waiting for the train and I'm the ONLY woman with a 1/2 dozen guys white and black in a not so nice area. Really needed the Depends then!! I then realized I needed to look like I knew what I was doing and not like a totally scared shitless, middleaged, white, Amercian woman wishin she was wearing Depends with cash on me! So I toughed (yea, sure I did) it up as much as I could. Somehow I don't think I pulled it off. I'm guessing I just looked like a middle aged, crazy, white, woman. Crazy because I was sitting there sending messages telepathically that I was coming back, "I'm coming back, don't leave, I'm coming back". For some reason I figured by squinting this would help the transmission AND made me look crazy I'm sure. Apparently that was enough, because no one even looked at me or like they were even going to consider approaching me. SO what??? Now I'm not even hot enough to mug??? Anyways.......

The train comes and it's only minutes back to the station I needed and as I arrive I see Ranjini waving at me as she got my message telepathically that I was heading back. No, she really did, she said she heard me! The squinting really does help!! Don't roll your eyes at me! Thank God for psychic friends! (& not the network) I got off in time (obvious joke here..) for the next train. I found out that all I did was get on the earlier train going to the same place we were. Crisis averted! Wipes sweat & tears from brow & eyes!

Stay tuned for the Next installment of....As The Broom Turns!

B.B.
W.W.

HOT OFF THE PRESSES...NO REALLY IT IS!

2006-04-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

Now that I'm off my sugar hangover, on to the BIG news!! I have my book in my grubby lil hands!! YES!! I am finally an AUTHOR!

You can order it from my site awitchywoman.com and it's also on Amazon. In no time I will be on the best sellers on Amazon! Woo Hoo! I'm getting great feed back so far. I am proud of my first book.

Now I'm working on 2 more! Who Knew! I can't believe it myself! Looks like Bill Christy was my Drano.

Gotta go and git to writing, or exercising or at least my prosperity book camp homework. Something more productive than writing to myself!

BB
WW

SUGARLAND EXPRESS!

2006-04-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm back from my sugar coma! Leave it to Christians to take a Pagan holiday and commercialize & candy it up! How they sold candy, chocolate bunnies and colored eggs as a way to celebrate the resurrection of Christ to the masses is beyond me. They stole the Ostara holiday and it's traditions from the Pagans then persucute them for it....go figure. ( Hmmm it appears I'm still working thru being killed in a past life for it)

Eostre (pronounced E-ostra)
Eostre is the Pagan holiday that celebrates the return of spring and the balance between light and dark on, or around, the Spring Equinox. Eostre was the Pagan goddess of dawn, fertility and new beginnings. The Christian celebration of Christ's rebirth, Easter, is also celebrated around this time and got its name from Eostre. Eostre - Did U Know?
Eostre gave a rabbit friend the power to lay eggs once a year - on the Spring Equinox. The eggs symbolized new beginnings and the rabbit symbolized fertility. I got this little diddy from kidzworld.com

Look and no reference to satan! You'd think if Witches worshipped satan they wouldn't leave him out of any holiday. DUH! (pssst, any Christians out there?? We don't believe in satan. YOU DO! So quit pushing him off on us! He's your deal NOT ours!)

Why are major Christian holidays layered on older Pagan festivals? (because we have the coolest traditions) The central reason is that as Christianity was struggling for acceptance in Europe, (ya think???) the country-folk would not give up their age-old traditions. (is it any wonder??) By blending the old with the new, it was easier for the Church to convert the locals. (i.e. persecute into submission/conversion) I got this info from paganwiccan.about.com

I guess I must still be on a sugar hangover which is why I'm on my wee soapbox. You'd think I'd learn.

Blessed Be!
WW

TAKE IT TO THE LIMIT!

2006-04-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

OMG! It was one of those moments you've heard about but think "Ahhhh not me! Not for a looooooonnng time!" Well, that day has arrived for me and Psychic Boy. The day you realize you really are....dare I say it....oooooo I don't want to....ok, suck it up and just say it! The day you realize you really are.........MIDDLE AGED!! *big sigh*

I mean, you know you are, but you don't really think about it. You look good, people still think you're twen....OK!! Thirty something. I'm not budging on that one! So it's not real. Until.......you're jamming to a song (Take It To The Limit by the Eagles.) and then you hear the radio ad and you realize you have it on......*gulp*...you have it on.....*big gulp*......you have it on the OLDIES STATION!!!! The fact that it's the Eagles on the radio is your first clue! WHAT??? My parents listened to the oldies station NOT ME! Then you feel the blood drain right out of your body! You feel faint, glad you're not standing but scared that you are driving with no blood to the brain. Oh good a stop light, I can gather my wits about me, what little I have. It really hits you that you are indeed *hands now shaking* (& not from Parkinson's) MIDDLE AGED! How the hell did that happen??? When did it happen?? This is total BS!!

It was then I realized that me and Psychic Boy are getting into our "Golden Years" Too dramatic? Too bad. We now have our own "Good Ole Days" & "Well, when I was in school......" EEEEEEK! Holy crap Batman!

In these days of cable tv where your kids watch the same shows you did i.e. Brady Bunch, The Monkees, Adams Family ect. And they do know a lot about the stuff that was around when we were a kid because of shows like "That 70's Show." It has helped shrink the generation gap with our kids. So in return MIDDLE AGE sneaks up on ya! YOU just don't see it coming.

We had another incident prior to this one that I let slide last week. But after this little hammer to the head, I have to count this as well. Psychic Boy said one of his phone clients was hitting on him and she was a younger woman. I asked how young (we try & out do each other..I had a 19 yr. old admirer for awhile). I did NOT like the answer! She was......*choking now*.....she was *cough cough sputter sputter*..... 36!!! 36????? Really?? A younger woman 36???? I was thinking 22 or 23 or twenty freakin something!! Certainly not thinking pushing 40!! BAAAAAA WAAAAAAA!

So there you have it folks! I admit it! I am middle aged *sobbing now* *wiping gigantic tears and snotty nose* Funny thing is I don't mind being 44. It's the whole MIDDLE AGED *echo echo* thing. Old people were always middle aged. NOT ME DAMMIT!

Well, you won't catch me sitting at home knitting, wearing a shawl, waiting for my AARP card to come in. They say that 40 is the new 30 and that works for me! I had my slap of reality and I'm quite happy to go back into my happy denial of being in my 30's! We have great role models today like Oprah, Goldie Hawn, Susan Sorandon, ect that we don't have to accept the status quo or "granny" status of age.

I'm going for my botox shots now so until next time.....

Blessed Be!
W.W.

HOT OFF THE PRESS PEOPLE!!

2006-03-27T18:53:00.000-08:00

YEEEEEE HAWWWWW! No forget that one..to red neck WOOOOO HOOOO! Much better! I got my first sample copy of my book!! annnnndddd IT LOOKS HOT! OMG! I sound like freakin Paris Hilton now! Just shoot me! Shoot me now! But I can't help it! I am sooooo excited about my book! I actually have a book out! Well, almost. In about 10 days I will have all 1,000 in my grubby little hands! Want a copy?? Go to anumcara.com. Sorry, I don't know all the fancy coding to make a link work here. You'll have to work for this one. Oh yea, no one reads this anyway and I have it on my favorites so who cares if it doesn't work, I don't.

I've had allergy problems to day which is very weird because it's been a really long time since I've had it this bad. So I'm on an antihistamine high right now and ready to fall asleep. But not before I have a celebratory bowl of Cornflakes to celebrate the arrival of my first book! Man! Do I know how to celebrate or what!??

Until the installment of "As the Wand Wonders"

B.B.
WW

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE!

2006-03-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

SO! I finally got the airplane reservations for the UK in May. Well, actually we leave April 27th. Then off across the pond we go! We have lots going on. We land in Belfast for a few days then we fly off to England for a week or so. Back to N. Ireland for a week to see the family, & go to the dentist where it's still affordable! Also so my son can "Win Granny Jordan's money!" Honestly! My mother in law gives my son like $300 cash when he comes over. Really should consider coming over more at that rate. So now he's the cute Yank with all the $$. He was the big spender last time we were there. Buying all these kids snacks n stuff at the VG. Now he'll be 15 (b-day May 12) so God only knows what he'll attract this time. He's tall, dark (by their standards) and handsome & he'll have some coinage about him. A definite chick magnet!

Then I head off back to England for a weekend for my sis in laws "hen" night. We call it a bachelorette party here. They do all kinds of things there that I don't think we do here but we will see. I'm flying over with my 2 cousins from Belfast, my other sis in law, niece, & her friend from Derry (yes we're fenians, hence the no London in front of Derry. Chuckie ar la! too lazy to check the Gaelic spelling) Come back hung over I'm sure, recuperate a few days then back to the good ole U Sof A! Phew! A busy month!

We have a week long workshop going on from May 3-7. And when I say "we" I mean Martin and Karen Montano do. I'm just there for...well..ahh...ummm.. I'm not exactly sure why I'm there. Oh yea, because I wanted to be there! But I will be doing an evening of comedy for the troops. Ummm not "our" US troops but our workshop troops. So I'm earning my keep....shut up! Yes I am! (like how I argue with myself??)

Then I have my show in Milton Keynes which will be known from now on as MK. But I will start a new post on that subject.

So stay tuned for the next installment of "As the besom flies!"

Blessed Be!
WW

A PRINTING WE WILL GO!

2006-03-23T20:55:00.000-08:00

Yes!! That's right! My book is off to print!! How excited am I?? A. VERY FREAKIN EXCITED!!

I was like a kid on a long trip... Is ready to go yet? Is ready to go yet? Is it ready...u get the idea. I had to flash Martin my boobies every time I asked as not to piss him off with my constant nagging. Before that it was Are my ISBN#'s here yet?? Are my ISBN#"s here yet?? ect. Good thing I have a big rack or I'd be in trouble. Guys are so easy!

Soooooo in about 10 days I will have my grubby little hands on my very own book!! Then I will really mean "On News Stands now!" OK, it may not be news stands right away, but it will be in select book stores & by select book stores I mean a book store in Ohio. Hey, close enough, ya gotta start somewhere dammit! Today Ohio...tomorrow the world!!

Stay tuned for another exciting episode of, hmmm what shall it be...I know! "As the quill turns"

BLessed Be!
WW

IT REALLY ISN'T EASY BEING GREEN!

2006-03-22T21:40:00.000-08:00

Well, I did it! I was the the MC at a St. Paddy's Day nursing home extravaganza! It was sitting room only! Woo Hoo! They started wheeling the residents in before I got there & it seemed like they were never gonna stop. I conned my kids into going and my son's friend Wesley too. They stood in line to get painted up accordingly. I had my trusty acrylic paints & brush out ready to paint up a storm! We all looked like leprechauns on crack. It was like Darby O'Gill and the Little People gone wild!

There were some residents asleep before the show even started! A good sign indeed. *sigh* Knew I shoulda hit a happy hour before I got there! It was St. Paddy's Day! There was bound to be one somewhere! Finally the last resident was rolled in and we began. We sang, they stared, a good time was had by all. So we chose to believe anyway.

We then walked around and handed green carnations to the residents that were bed bound or just plain napping. Don't know why they couldn't nap in the cafeteria where we were. They would've fit right in. It was great to see the smiles on their faces. They loved the flower. Most did anyway. They appear to be pretty medicated in these places. And I don't think it's viagra. Most couldn't hardly take their flower. It was like they were choosing between 3 of them or something. One lady told my daughter to get out. Elatia asked if she wanted a flower, she said no, get out, but then added "Thanks for stopping by." Go figure. Probably the meds talking.

Martin did see plenty of Earth bound spirits hanging around. Really? Would you really want to hang around a nursing home when you're dead? It's not so great there alive! I mean you could go anywhere and hang why a freaking nursing home??Ewwwwwww! It certainly can't be for the lovely "aroma."

One dead lady didn't know she was dead and was pissed off that someone was in her room! Again really?? Wouldn't ya notice that you don't have to open doors to get anywhere, the fact that you're up and around would be a clue, & not slumped over drooling on yourself in a wheel chair! For Christ's sake go to the freakin light lady! It's gotta be better than this!

It certainly reinforces my belief in me taking my vitamins I tell ya!

OH! And they blew us off for the down town celebration! The nerve! Don't they know who I'm going to be???? They said all the slots were full. Well, their loss really! I was glad to get home and put my rubber shoes up on the couch.

Stay tuned for another episode of ....."As the cauldron bubbles."

Blessed Be!
WW

GRAND MASTER C!!

2006-03-13T20:17:00.000-08:00

As you know I've been getting ready for my big gig on St. Paddy's Day in the nursing home. Well, I got a call this a.m. that I will also be "The Mistress Of Ceremony." They asked and I said sure! No problem. Then I panicked thinking "What have I done???? Again!!" I e-mailed my comic friend Rocky Laporte who's got a small part in the new movie The Shaggy Dog. I personally liked the old title The Shaggy D.A. Anyway he gave me some tips on being an MC. Mostly he said to have fun. I know how to do that!

We had a rehearsal tonite. Our one and only. When you're this good.....! (as if) I was the only woman there.......no wait, not really, there was a bunch of Queens there. I was the only one without a penis tho. LOL We're all there not because of our singing talents, that's for sure, well except for Martin. We're there to have a good time and share a bit of cheer with the elderly. I'm really looking forward to it. I worked in a nursing home at 18 and I loved interacting with the residents. We are going to be a little risque here and there, the dirty ole men will love it! They were forever pinching my ass when I worked in one. I don't think things have changed, especially with viagra now. That's probably the drug of choice that gets smuggled in. Oh c'mon grow up! Like that doesn't go on and they don't get drugs in jail or the military either!

Then off to the main stage down town apparently after our nursing home extravaganza! Ahhhhh I get to make a fool of myself for the whole town to see. I must've been the village idiot or court jester or both in a past life cause this feels way to natural!!

Stay Tuned for another installment of "as the cauldron burns"

Blessed Be!
W.W.

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH!

2006-03-10T19:12:00.000-08:00

Yea Baby! Rocky Mountain High.. Colorado! (singing in my best John Denver voice) The Rocky Mountains are in ALL of Colorado right? Cause I may be going to Denver which has the Rocky's...correct? Note to self, get a tutor for me and the boy on geography. I mean I thought the Mohave Desert was in Asia! I realized it wasn't when we drove thru it going to Vegas. :^0

Anyhoo I'm working on going to Denver in July for the INATS which is International New Age Trade Show...My PEEPS! That's where I need to be seen! There will be 1,000's of people there who "get me!" And they have author's booths, an author's breakfast, and book signing area. I actually qualify as an author now! Hold on while I wipe a tear... AN AUTHOR! WOW! I think it's just beginning to hit me that I can really call myself that. I'm feeling kinda all grown up or something. Having 2 kids, 3 if you count the hubby, 4 if you count the wiener dog, a mortgage n stuff hasn't really made me feel grown up? I guess because I don't feel like I've ever had a job that felt like a grown up job. Ok, So I get up in front of people now and act like a goof ball & get paid. But you know, one that could impact others in a big way. This is waaay cool!

Now, I've added these guys to the list on who I'm waiting to get back to me. Still haven't heard from ABC's Wife Swap, Waiting on channel 4 in London, Transitions book store in Chicago (did I mention them before?) and now the INATS people who we left a message with today. I know there's more but can't think of who. Here's the skinny on Transitions Book Store. It was kinda my kick start in metaphysics big time. I was already small time. It introduced me to people who would change my life forever.

It would kinda be a full circle moment for me if I do a book signing and comedy show there since that's where I first met Doreen & Bill Christy back in Nov. 2001. It was my first metaphysical seminar ever. I know Bill wouldn't remember me but I remember him when Doreen introduced him. I remember seeing Steven there and I also first met Angel Earth. WOW! To think how much has happened since then & how much all those people have blessed my life since then. I met Michael Wise, lead singer of Angel Earth there and said good bye to him there. Yup! A full circle moment indeed!

That's it for now. Stay tuned for the next installment of...."As the Athame turns"

ON NEWS STAND NOW!

2006-03-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

Alright! By now you know that's a load of crap. But I'm trying to be creative here! Work with me! The exciting news is.....drum roll please!.....I GOT MY FIRST WHOLE SALE BOOK ORDER!!! Pretty exciting stuff eh?? And it's from a new age store in Ohio! Not even local. Plus she wants me up to do a book signing and my comedy show. I think I just may be on a book tour because they want me back in Antioch IL as well! I know! I've hit the big time! Ahhhhh delusions of grandeur, ya gotta love it!

Although I have to say I saw more flannel & mullets (I thought they were gone) in Antioch than at a lesbian bar. Quite disturbing actually. Certainly not the fashion capital of the world by any stretch of the imagination. Fashion has totally eluded this part of the world! They aren't big on laughing out loud either but they apparently had a great time the last time we were there. Talk about a fish out of water!! I felt out of place in them thar hills.

Soooo I guess I'll be having me a summer tour! Maybe I should look into a tour bus *tee hee* Hey if you want big, you gotta think big and remember, I am a legend in my own mind! So a tour bus makes perfect sense. And maybe I can get my ex hubby (I know!! Who would divorce me???) to drive it! That's what he does, he drives buses. He even has his own charter bus company but I want one of them decked out buses! Maybe I should call him now.

OH! And guess who called me?? That's right my friend that I was trying to get a hold of, well actually his wife did as she is our friend as well. Apparently he's too buy for his friends. I will remember that believe me! Michelle is welcomed back stage but Vito..... well...Vito who?? See? Ya moon someone is how you get results I guess. Well, for me anyway. And to top it off he wasn't that big of a help....yet.

Until the next installment of "As the broom turns"....

Blessed Be! )0(
W.W.

ALL BOTTLED UP!

2006-03-08T08:45:00.000-08:00

Arrrrg! What is the deal with suppliers?? No, not drug ones, bottle ones! What kind a girl do you think I am?? Ok, so sometimes it may appear I partake in illegal substances but I DON'T and the scary thing is I never did!! This is all me baby! So I can't blame it on anything. Hmmmm maybe I should be on some sort of drug then maybe I wouldn't be talking to myself orrrrrrr someone else could read this and then I certainly wouldn't be talking to myself!

Oh, yea, back to my point and not the one on my head. I finally have my perfume and I can't find bottles. Oh, I found one but can't find it now, found another one but can't get anymore of it. ARRRRRGG! Where are my emoticons when I need them! I'm getting orders for my amazing perfume and can't fill them! Frustrating? Ya think? How am I going to build a perfume empire if I can't get the freakin bottles!! Notice I slip the legend in my own mind thing any where I can? I'm good.

I have a friend who works for his dad's perfume business in Miami, not getting a plug here for it since he won't return my calls! I know, I know, I'd only be plugging it to myself & I already know about it. Hence the phone call trying to get bottles. I mean he must import right? He's in Miami close to the port. Hmmmm what all do you think he imports......I kid! Ya know I think I'll go now and leave another desperate message in his machine. I may have to go mean on his ass if he doesn't get back to me soon. He said he adores me and Martin, wonder how he'd treat someone he didn't like! Again.... I'm so ronery oh so ronery....

At least I do have 6 more bottles coming in that are totally different than I had but they are bottles that will hold perfume. 4 of them are already going out. I need bottles!!!!!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

P.S. I just called him & I whined, threatened to call and whine everyday until he calls then......I mooned him! That's right I mooned him! C'mon he had it coming! Drastic times calls for drastic measures! Now I wait....till the morrow...then do it again!

IT ISN'T EASY BEING GREEN!

2006-03-02T20:16:00.000-08:00

Well, I think I'm about done with my St. Paddy's day attire. I think I may have out done myself this time. I'm putting a lot of effort into this, buying new stuff for a free gig that most may sleep thru. WOW! Am I desperate for a gig or what? I live for the thrill of the lights, the cameras & the roar or will it be the snore of a live(? debatable) crowd! Ahhhh the theatre, I love it so! Delusions of grandeur I know, but humor me as I humor myself. Remember, legend in my own mind, so play along!

Hard to believe but the St. Paddy's Day stuff is already on sale and getting harder to find. It's over 2 weeks till the day of the green! I can't find my flashing shamrocks head band :^( but I did find a green sequencie (I tend to make up words) hat, a bunch of green bobble necklaces, a bubble blower necklace, bright green striped socks with shamrocks, some bright green pants from Goodwill. I love that place! The first pants I try on in front of everybody, as I didn't feel like waiting for a dressing room, fit! Goodwill must've been giving stuff away because they were busy. They weren't giving my stuff away, I had to pay. I wore a skirt so I could just slip on pants anywhere and wore my bright green striped socks under my knee high boots so I could see how they would look with said pants. And man, did they look HOT! I am going to make one hot looking leprechaun on crack!

And yes! I did find my green rubber turned up shoes my "piece de resistance!" YAY! I feel complete....almost. I'm still thinking about going back and getting these big ass shamrock sunglasses. I think that would complete the ensemb (Another made up word). I think I will go first thing tomorrow before they are gone. I know I will definitely be 40 shades of green if nothing else.

Incase your wondering I am NOT going topless. I know I didn't mention any top I would be wearing but I will be donning my beautiful green Goddess top made by my designer (I put that to sound important). I always wear one of my Goddess tops when I perform. Why should this be any different?

I better look good because I may be on the local TV news. Apparently who ever runs the down town affairs asked Raymond (A very tall leprechaun) if his "performers" (I use the term lightly) would come to the down town celebration and perform & that news crews will be there. I better look at dropping some poundage as I don't need the camera's help with added weight. They can put a man on the moon (or can they?) but the camera still adds 10 LBS??! C'mon if the camera's helped out more, actresses could keep their fingers out of their throats & enjoy a freakin meal once in awhile! Anyway, I do quite well on my own with the weight & don't need the camera adding any. I mean, if I'm going to look bigger, there better be a twinkie, in my mouth at all times!!

You know..... I would never get away with this outfit in Ireland. They don't do this crazy shit over there, only we do. Hell, they don't even wear green! Spot the real Irish person in a pub here, they are the ones in black usually, no green. Spot the obnoxious Irish wanna-bees, they're ALL decked out in green. The Irish are usually shaking their heads in disgust looking at me. I know I would be snipper shot in N. Ireland which is why I stay here for this holiday. :^)

Until next time...Tiocfaidh ar la ...phonetically speaking for those who don't speak Gaelic...Chuckie Ar La...Our Day Will Come!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

YADA YADA YADA

2006-03-01T09:43:00.000-08:00

"I'm so ronery oh so ronery".......rememeber the North Vietnam dude in Team America F**K Yea!! That was his song and now mine. As I am soooo ronery on my blog. Yea, I know I said I didn't care but I'm not made of stone ya know!

I am getting ready to go St. Paddy's Day garb hunting. That gig is sneaking up on me & I want to be ready. It wouldn't be such a big deal except all my cool St. Paddy's Day stuff is packed. Silly me thought we would've sold our house by now and had been un-packed & settled in S. Ca. where I would be enjoying good hair days by now! Although we've been having pretty good hair days here in the Sunshine, I duno how to vote, God's waiting room, State a.k.a Florida.

I hope I can find all the stuff I'm looking for. The main ingredient is my green rubber turned up elf shoes. I have 2 PAIR packed! The sad part is I can walk normal in them now. That's how much I've warn them. They feel more normal than wearing heels. I am a sad little human ain't I? And I wonder why "I'm so ronery oh so ronery" LOL I'm thinking mystery solved!

Well I better get out and get green. I don't want to disappoint those that are expecting me to look like a leprechaun on crack! When the old people get a load of me, they're gonna wonder if a nurse screwed with their meditation. Or snuck some acid in their prune juice. Ahhhhh the 60's.

Blessed Be!
W.W.

BOOK'EM DANO!

2006-02-28T20:41:00.000-08:00

Not giving my age away with my pop culture references huh?

We're one step closer to getting my book printed!! WooHoo YeeHaww! (WOW! I guess those 6 weeks I lived in Ky. as a child had a lasting effect on me!) We applied for my ISBN# today and found out it takes longet than we thought, like 15 days! We we're thinking it was a 24 hr. turn around. Oooops. The printer we were looking at is a 3-4 week turn around. So we were looking at.. wait, counting on fingers again, ya just gotta love fingers....and public school!....anyway the total is.. 5-6 weeks before I could get my grubbby little hands on my book! Bummer!

But Martin being the research hound that he is, I mean really, he must've been a blood hound or something in a past life! The guy doesn't stop until he's turned every rock for info. Maybe he shoulda been a paleontologist instead. Well, it's good to see him put his research chemistry degree to work because he didn't get to use it when living in N. Ireland. He got to use his intellect working at a fish and chip mobile in Strathfoyle, N. Ireland. Which is somewhere by Bumfuck! "Thanks England for the education money well spent! I've put it to good use." And they wonder why the educated leave. You put in 4 yrs. at University to be able to work in a fish and chip mobile. Yea, it's a big mystery why anyone with a brain cell leaves.

But I digress, which I do A LOT in my book, on newstands now! Well, you know that's a lie by now. Anyway he found a printer close by in Tampa! YAY! And not only can they get me my books in 10 days but they are also CHEAPER!! How cool is that?? A. VERY FREAKIN COOL!!

Gotta go and light up the ole cauldron for the New Moon now.

Happy Manifesting!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

NEEEEEWW MOOON

2006-02-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

Sung like the song blue moon but I don't know how to write it to sound that way.

That's right! It's the new moon and time to whip out them cauldrons & wands and don our hats. It's manifesting time baby! Ask the Goddess for your hearts desire and RELEASE IT! Now the moon will start to wax & the energy is for bringing in. I say if you want to release anything negative this is a good time as well. There are different thoughts on it so what ever you feel. I love the full moon for manifesting the best because it is so full of the The Mother/Goddess energy, it is ripe for the asking. Not to mention how breath taking the full moon is. I was ALWAYS drawn to the moon and didn't know why. If I missed enjoying the full moon I felt bad like I missed church or something (not that I ever missed church when I didn't go but ya know, the way you're suppose to feel) and now I know why! So much of my past makes so much sense now that I have found & embraced my true religion. It's the first religion that has ever made sense to me.

I was raised Catholic, then I had some neurotic southern Baptist thrown in for good measure. Scene: an 11 yr. old Catholic girl from New Joisey moved to the mountains of Ky. & thrown into a true S. Baptist church. A girl who is use to nodding off in church as they tend to say the same damn thing every week is now thrown in church where they scream something different every week but the message is the same and it's not nice stuff either! Screaming how much of a sinner we are & not worthy of God's love. Talk about scared??? Hell yea. I yearned for the hum drum style of the Catholic church again & my nap time there.

Talk about never feeling good enough to be loved by God!! Even as a kid I didn't buy it. If you're not saved you're going to hell, if you don't save others at carnivals and walk-athons by handing out these leaflets you're going to hell, if you breathe wrong, you're going to hell! I remember thinking God can't hate me this much! I'd ask God, "We're good God right?" I always got a yes. As a kid I knew that God was ALL about the LOVE! Not if you do this or you don't do that you're going to hell. Hey, I don't think ANY religion has all the answers. I believe what ever brings you peace in your heart & not fear is the right religion for you. And I'm talking REAL peace where you don't go around judging others that don't believe what you do. So please don't ram your religion down my throat and I won't have to ram my wand down yours! *evil grin* And end scene.

Now I'm working on remembering all this cool info I know I have from past lives as a Witch. It resonates so much with me & that's where I found my peace. I hope you found yours.

Blessed Be!
W.W.

DIVA THUNDER DOWN UNDER!

2006-02-26T09:40:00.000-08:00

Howdy Doody folks! And when I say folks, I mean just me. I am surprised how much fun I'm actually having using this blog. I know I'm pretty much talking to myself most of the time, but since I am a legend in my own mind, that's cool!

I had the biggest surprise this a.m. when I went to the Angel announcement board I go to, you know, the one I was spending to much time on? And there was a post about a "Diva Show Down Under" I thought "Cool! This sounds interesting. I wonder what they are doing down under." Then I find out it's a post for me!! They want to bring me and my show down under! I'm really thinking my legend status is growing! I have a couple of people on board with me now! I have the power! And I'm not even making them wear Nikes, drink kool-aid, or have funky coifs while we wait for the mother ship or comet to come down to take us. I mean, I'm not crazy or anything.... We don't have to do all that while we wait. *evil grin*

So I will keep things posted here as they come about.

I was going to post a story about when I decided to end my comedy career before it really got started. After a year and a half of open mics, does not a comedy career make & I was done. I had 6 weeks at the Fogartyville Horror cafe, where they had an open mic every Thurs. It was pretty much for folk singers. They tolerated us comedians. And by tolerate I mean they let us in the place. One guy was there every week and bless his heart, it didn't matter that no one laughed & just looked at him oddly. He didn't care, he was there to work on his craft.

I saw him at an open mic at a comedy club one night and thought, "What the?.. Who the?..He can't be serious! This guy sucks!" And I don't like to say but he did. Then I saw him coming out of an event at the comedy club one other night and it was the "Special Olympics of Comedy" or something to that effect. There were some pretty incredible people there and so friendly and funny. But this guy? Not so much, but at least now I knew where he was coming from. And every week I'd see him at Forgartyville Horror.

Now I know I'm not a mainstream comedian...yet. My stuff will be mainstream one day I tell ya! But I too was there to work on my craft...my other craft. *wink* Standing up there for 10 mins. telling jokes you've written and the only noise in the place is the guy doing dishes in the kitchen?? Oh yea, and the crickets too. Disheartening to say the least! Nothing against crickets or anything but..... not the crowd I was intending to play to.

Six weeks in a row I did it!! Then I just couldn't do it anymore. It was soul destroying. You expect to have off nights but every night is an off night? And I had no real shows in between to keep me going.

So I'm whining my best Diva whine in the car on the way home to Psychic Boy. I'm mean I'm really ranting! I had had it! I mean not to get any laughs?? As a comedian? HELLLO! That's why we do it. Oh and to get the babes too. LOL Anyway P.B. tries to tell me that I'm there to practice & hone in my craft and get this.... he actually tells me...it's not about the laughs!! R U kidding me??? Not about the laughs?? IT'S ALL ABOUT THE FREAKIN LAUGHS YOU MORON!! Is kinda how the conversation went. I don't get paid, so yea, it's kinda about the laughs! I was driving so I couldn't get a good shot at him to smack him.

That is when I decided I was done with my illustrious career as a comedienne. I had a hard enough time keeping my self esteem up without setting it up to get slam dunked down week after week. But I did have one more show to do, I couldn't back out, they sold tickets. People were actually paying to see me! OMG! I better be good! It's my last show! I want to be sent off to obscurity with a bang!

Well, you know how the story ends if you read the previous posts...or at the very least the beginning of this one. So what's the lesson here? The lesson here is.. sometimes in order to hang on you have to let go! Ponder that!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

ONE STEP CLOSER

2006-02-24T21:08:00.000-08:00

We are one step closer to booking a show in Milton Keynes! YAY! Not only does Ranjini and the owner Marilyn of "The Healing Way" think there will be interest, but they think they will have no problem filling one show and possibly another!! Ummm, counting on fingers now, that means they are looking at.... 2 shows!! Fingers are great!

My legend status is starting to make it's way out of my head and into the head of others!! It's starts with one mind at a time and I got 2 already! Ahhhh my legend status is starting to spread like a virus now! Watch out bird flu, mad cow, & any other disease floating out there! Here comes the Diva Deptheria (sorry, no spell check)

Stay Tuned! Ok, apparently it's back to just me staying tuned but I don't care! I'm almost an International Star!!! There's that legend thing again but I have allies now! :^)

Blessed Be!
W.W.

THE SHOW MUST GO ON!

2006-02-24T07:46:00.000-08:00

Yup! That's right! The show MUST go on. I'm currently working on booking a show in Merry ole England. It hasn't been that easy. While I am a legend in my own mind, it appears that this is the only place that I am! Go figure! One day others will catch up with me.

Anyhoo, it looks like I might be doing a show in Milton Keynes, England. That's after the Glastonbury and Hove ones fell thru. With Glastonbury I wasn't willing to work for food or free. What's with churches and temples thinking only they have the right to make money to live. Yes, that was rhetorical, hence no question mark. With Hove I'd have to try and promote it myself from here and since my legend status is still only in my mind, I didn't think it was worth the investment quite yet. I'd like to perform infront of more than 3 people.

But now it looks like I have someone who thinks there may be interest in my kind of show in her area. Thank you Ranjini! I still have to invest some money but at least there is a belief that people would be interested. So I'll just hop on my broom and make my way over. I actually have a decked out broom with horn, side mirror, flashing tail light, pine air freshener, & bumper sticker. I bring it in a coffin bass guitar case when I travel. Oh yea, it's a lot of fun going thru security at the airport with that!! LOL But I think I'll leave it home this trip & fly over by plane. We'll be in the UK nearly a month, need the clothes more.

I'll post the details here when they are finalized.

Blessed Be!
W.W.

GHOST RIDERS IN THE SKY

2006-02-23T20:36:00.000-08:00

I'm baaaaack! Had a cool moment with my deceased soul mate Uncle Christy tonight who I mentioned earlier. He's been hangin around alot lately. Not because he's Earth bound or anything but because he can. He loves the work we are doing and is helping tremendously.

You can read ALL about my Uncle Christy in my new book on a news stand now. Again, it's not really, but was on a roll and a glass (or 2) of Fat Bastard. Yes, I could say wine but saying Fat Bastard is a hell of a lot more fun! Who names a wine Fat Bastard anyway?? teehee

I was talking with my soul sistah Karen Montano for whom we wrote a song for intitled "What would Karen Montano do if she were here right now" to the tune of "What would Brian Bortano do if he were here right now" from South Park. Yup! Quite the song writers were are. Anyway my point? Well, no point to that but I was talking to her tonight about up coming workshops we have planned in England in May and Laguna Hills in June. (you can read ALL about them at www.anumcara.com)

She was telling me the kind of info we need to teach. Like about the Arch Angels, channeling, automatic writing, how to cross over Earth bound spirits ect. Ya know, the usual normal stuff. Well, normal for us. She went on to explain one earth bound spirit she came across last week while taking out her garbage. Yes, they show up at the oddest places. She found out he was there for someone she was seeing Sat.This was Thursday. This is so normal for us, it's like we're talking about soccer practice. As she was explaining to me how she taught this girl to help this spirit I felt my Uncle very strongly.

I helped him transition when he was dieing. No I didn't up his morphine or anything like that. I'm no Kavorkian...yet. It was the hardest thing I had to do for someone I loved and he was only 45. I didn't think I did anything that special but he showed me tonight that I did. As Karen was explaining how spirits can become Earth bound, I realized Christy was telling me that if I hadn't of flown over to Belfast to be with him and help him to let go, that he wouldn't of crossed as peaceful as he did & might have still been hangin around.

I couldn't help but start to cry as I felt Karen's words become Christy's words and feel his love & gratitude for me. It was a great moment as I felt his presence once again. I miss him so. It was my honor to help you Christy and I love you!

Just wanted to share my wee metaphysical moment with my uncle. You can start to see what my book is about huh? Stories like this one and many many more! On news stands now!! (You know the drill)

Blessed Be!
W.W.

IDOL ON!

2006-02-23T16:18:00.000-08:00

WooHoo American Idol baby!! I am sooooo excited it's back on! Ok, I'm a big geek! But I live vicariously thru these people! And it's on in 40 mins. so that's all the time I have. I'm rooting for Ace! He has "IT!" The IT that makes a star a star. And? How freakin cute is he?? I picked Carrie Underwood from her audition last year and this yr. I pick Ace. Hubba Hubba

Alright, back to why I was forced to do a blog, I SOLD ALL THE BOTTLES OF WIZDOM I HAD!! Now I have to wait for my 10 bottles that are back ordered. And it looks like I may have unwttingly started my own sweat shop, sorry Denise and Mom. I can see things from Kathy Lee Gifford's postion now. *grin* You don't mean for it to happen, it just sorta happens. And one of these days I'll even pay them for thier labor!..I swear!

I am having a special glass or more of wine tonight in honor of my soul mate and cousin Christine in Belfast. Yes, soul mates can be more than a love interest. Her father was one of my soul mates as well. I explain this in my book on news stands now. Ok, it's not, but I was on a roll. It will be soon. I know I sound a bit, well, Alabama/Kentuckyish, saying this, if you get my drift, no offense, but I heard things. It's not like that at all. Anyway...What I am doing having this glass of wine is, 1. because they now carry "our" wine "Fat Bastard" in our local grocery store. Me and Christine use to go to wine tastings when she was here & we found this wonderful "Fat Bastard" wine & had a hard time finding it anywhere else. A sign??

Number 2. reason, she lived with us for 6 months, not working mind you, *wink* just to get away from the bombs and all the "fun" in Belfast N. Ireland, need I say more? Well, she wanted to come back and live but circumstance said different. But now it's been 3 yrs. and when I heard the girl ain't been dating??? R U kiddin me?? C'mon girlie! U need to be here! I was all understanding when you told me you wanted to stay in N. Ireland. I was thinking, "ok, you have to do what is right for you." And how often am I that understanding & selfless?? A. Hardly ever! But now with this info?? I'm puttin my Witchy Woman powers to work!! We're going to need an assistant in the next 6 months and you have first dibs! And the benefit?? You get to go back to Belfast anytime you want!! I know, what kind of benefit is that you might ask but she does have family there she actually loves. A shout out to ma Granny, "Boot ye Granny?" Which roughly translated means "How are you? What's going on?" That's Belfast talk fer ya.

The gloves are off girlie and I'm working my magick sistah! That's the Fat Bastard talking I'm sure, but I don't care! Well, unless you tell me that beyond a shadow of a doubt you want to stay in Gotham City a.k.a Belfast I'm a working my magick. Oh! BTW Your Dad made his presence known to us big time the other night that it even made P.B shake!! Call me!

OK, I'm done for now, I'm going to savor my "one" *wink wink* glass of Fat Bastard chardonnay wine.

Blessed Be!
W.W.

WIZDOM BABY!!

2006-02-22T10:32:00.000-08:00

OMG! Somebody stop me!! I'm blogging and I don't know how to stop!! I was going to hook up with Gilad, really, I was but my son loves watching Cops, he loves seeing people in their disfunction, as do I. It's good quality mother son time. And since he's home schooled we consider Cops his criminal law studies. :^) I know, I see the straw.

Anyway he doesn't get the channel in his room so here I am again. Hey, it keeps me off the show Cops! LOL I have a 1/2 hr. then it's me and Gilad for real.

I'm losing interest in another board I've been on, to many rules and in coming here I realized I just like to babble and don't need anyone to listen. Sad, really, I know. Also I get to make the rules! And being the proper Diva that I am that works for me! So, not so sad, I am the Diva of my own domain!! Ok, it's only me here so I'm back to being sad again. Oh well, don't care. I am self amusing.

But the real reason I started this post is because I wanted to announce that I have sold 2 bottles of my perfume Wizdom already!! I am so excited! I love the stuff and I hope everyone else does too. I know they will. It's magickal stuff. Everything is hand put together. Obviously I didn't make the bottles. But the bags are hand made by my friend Denise Kessler. Bless her heart for offering. I'm sure she's having second thoughts about offering. I am the great Diva! I come up with the ideas and then delegate like any other great ruler! LOL LOL Yes, I know, delusions of grandeur, but it's my domain so I don't care! No one is the boss of me here! *evil echo laugh*

Ok, gotta catch the few moments of mother son time and our crimianl law studies & then it's me and Gilad....FOR REAL!

Blessed Be!
W.W.

4 DIVAS AND A DUDE!

2006-02-22T09:38:00.000-08:00

Merry Meet Again!

I just love that title! Had to start another post for it. It's the title of our show coming up June 17th in Huntington Bch. Ca. at Mermaid's Treasure Chest. I know it's a bit far away but it's never to early to advertise, right? To who?? Well, to me so far. I just like to hear myself babble. Plus it's a great delay tactic for working out. I'm all dressed and ready to get it on with Gilad. Remember him? From the 80's? The Hawiian guy? Ok, maybe he's not Hawiian but he does his stuff on a beach in Hawaii. Man I can really babble on when I'm procrastinating huh? Anyway I have his dvd's to work out with and should get to it but, oh yea, the show.

Anyway, this 4 Divas and a Dude show will be 3 Drumming Divas for a 1/2 hr. and then me and Psychic Boy do our comedy and mediumship 2 hour show. I do an hour of metaphysical comedy and P.B. does an hour of random audience readings. It's been said it's like Comedy Central meets Crossing Over. I can't get in trouble for that because someone else said it was like Comedy Central meets Crossing Over. :^)

If you happen live in or around the Huntington Bch area call Mermaid's Treasure Chest for tickets. I just sounded like that announcer dude on The Price Is Right! I'll send in my app. You gotta go to their site if you want to escape. First get a pina colada, a daquari or some alcoholic tropical drink, unbrella optional, sunglasses, turn up your speakers, get under a light if you can't get under the window or something that remotely seems like sunlight, don on your best bikini or speedo (if you're Canadian) and go to their website & enjoy. This is a great if you live in the frozen tundra. So evenif you have no intentions of going to the show go to their website and snoop around.

Their website is www.mermaidstreasurechest.com and the phone #'s are 714-962-0622 or 1-877-mer-angl Rhiannon and Dirk Berkenhimerschmidt or something close to that (I'm not making that up, go see) own Mermaid's. They are the absolute best! I don't know if I would've continued to do comedy if it weren't for them taking a chance on having me perform in their store.

My first show there was going to be my last ever. I had it with open mics & an audience full of crickets! I was done. It wasn't fun anymore. And isn't comedy suppose to be about the fun?? I think the word comedy gives that one away. That's a whole other story for another post. But I had already booked the show, my very first paying show so I couldn't back out. I was stunned that people were paying $12 to just come and see me!! The pressure to perform! I knew how guys felt at that point! I mean I only had maybe 20 mins. of material. Rhiannon asked me if could do 45-60 mins. SURE! I said, thinking Holy Crap Batman what the hell am I gonna do! I can maybe fake 30 mins. I'm a girl after all ain't I?? I can fake it. But 45-60!!!!!!! OMG! So a scrambling I did do. Not only did I make the 60 mins. no problem, I cheated and had the audience do improv exercises. teehee & I also got a standing ovation!!! It was the beginning of my career NOT the end! So thank you Dirk and Rhiannon! I know I've said it before, but I can't say it enough!

So I only perform in metaphysical venues......and now nursing homes. I'd rather have 25 people that get it than 250 people that don't. Don't get me wrong I love the bigger crowds. Infact, I have actually had a 250 people comedy club crowd get my stuff and it was AWESOME! It rocked to have that people right there with ya! I live to have that again!

OK, I better quit procrastinating and go and git it on with my hunky Hawiian, for all intensive purposes, guy Gilad.

Until next time...

Blessed Be!
W.W.

Great News!!!

2006-02-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

Merry Meet!

Well, for me anyway and this is about me & as my family knows it's all about me! And it's only me reading this so here goes....I GOT MY FIRST BOOK ENDORSEMENT FROM AN AUTHOR & FAMOUS BY ALL ACCOUNTS I SEE !! That's right someone has endorsed my book. I'm still waiting for a few other replies. But I got my first one!!

Who you ask?? Who would endorse some crazy ass Witch?? Another crazy ass Witch of course! Ok maybe she's not but it sounded good. But she's an absolutley beautiful Witch in Australia named Lucy Cavendish. She is a Hay House author of Oracle Tarot. Her website is lucycavendish.com Lucy is also a regular on Hay House radio & she made the cover of "Psychic Directory" in Australia. A gorgeous cover I might add. She said some really nice things about me & I didn't even have to pay her! You'll have to buy the book to find out what she said! But I assure you it was really nice, almost made me cry.

That's what I love about our world. Our world of the metaphysical. You don't have to meet someone to know if you like them and know what they are about. You can read their energy. I love not living in fear of my God/Goddess given gifts. Gifts we were born to use. Gifts that are a part of who we are. After all, we are spirits having a human experience NOT humans having a spiritual experience.

Blessed Be!
W.W.

Blah Blah Blah

2006-02-20T21:25:00.000-08:00

OK, it's been a few days since the last post. OK! It's been probably more than a week. I dunno what to write at this time. But I gotta write something or Psychic Boy will get on my case.

Oh! Here's something. I finally came up with some jokes for a St. Paddy's Day charity event I'm doing at a nursing home. That's right! That's all I can get in this town! But a gig's a gig right? This is what they call paying your dues. I guess being an opening act in a back yard instead of an opening of a comedy club doesn't count or open mics where only the crickets appreciate your material doesn't either. Herumph! (no spell check for that)

I did have to write some new material. I mean, c'mon, I couldn't very well do my "normal" stuff about living in God's waiting room and Psychic Boy not being able to tell 1/2 the time if people are dead or just old! Or can I?? Hmmmm.. Something to think about.... Naaaaa. If I say, "he sees dead people" they might panic!

I may have a gig at the Sarasota Gay and Lesbian Comedy Festival, I'm becoming your well rounded comedienne here, so I'm writing some jokes for that just incase. Funny Witches, like Minute Men need to be ready at a moments notice, but for different reasons. I gotta get a hold of some of my old queen friends and get some more material. Hey a new book title "So These 2 Dead Gay Guys Prance into a Bar...." I better start writing.

Until next time...
Blessed Be!
W.W.

Woo Hoo!!

2006-02-10T19:34:00.000-08:00

I just got my first batch of my signature perfume that I'm getting ready to launch, in today!! I open the bottle and take a whif and.... Ewwwwww what the hell is this??? Smells kinda awful I think, like medicinal very potent. This can't be the stuff I'm wearing now. Great advertising campaign huh? Peter my aroma-alchemist assures me this is the same stuff he made for me for my sample.

Well, when you're working with pure essential oils it takes a bit of time & they are suspended in something or other blah blah blah. Hey! I just want it to smell great! This was a fresh batch. So I shook it up and put some on and lo and behold it smells gorgeous on me!! With essential oils they work in layers. So my perfume smells different on everybody and gets better as the day goes along.

The name of my aromatherapy perfume is called "Wizdom" you can check it out at anumcara It should be available in about 2 weeks. I'm sooooooo excited!! A book and a perfume coming out???!! AWESOME!!

I had Peter put it together because he is the best in my area and he adds more than just the oils, it's the energy behind his work that makes this so special. That's why it's known as "Perfume With a Purpose" Check it out!

Blessed Be!
WW

Merry Meet!

2006-02-08T20:52:00.000-08:00

Still waiting for the main computer to get out of hospital! Frustrating to say the least! I have one more story to add to my book. Came up with a funny title for the story so it has to go in. Couldn't pass it up. I mean c'mon, with a title like "Don't scry for me Argentina" how am I suppose to pass that one up! Curious now aren't ya???...Buy the book. *wink*

Next week we take a teleclass on internet marketing your book. So look for me on the best sellers list on Amazon in a few months! Well, that's what they promise anyway.

Can't beleive I finished a book in a month, but with friends like mine? Not so hard when they hound you non stop! Yes, I'm grateful.

Blessed Be!

W.W.

A Blogging we will go!

2006-02-06T16:41:00.000-08:00

Hi everybody

I am a Metaphysical comedienne and a stand up comic. I have finally finished my new book and will be using my blog to let you know of any new developments and any new things that are going on with my writing.

I am so excited to finally have something to say and an outlet to actually say it. WooHoo.

I will be posting excerpts from my book here, so feel free to comment. Any negitive comments and any nasty energy will be dealt with, and the writer turned into a toad. This includes but not limited to any religious Fundies with the mortal handicap of wanting to ram their insecurities down everybody's throat. But bless your hearts all the same.

I welcome anyone with open heart if you come with the same, and I welcome all questions regarding the field of comedy or metaphysics.

Blessings

Witchy Woman